Don't You Want To Stay
by likewhoresontequila
Summary: Rachel is living in NY and attending NYADA with Kurt. Quinn is at Yale. They haven't spoken in two years, and one night they meet up at a bar.
1. Chapter 1

Don't You Want To Stay

Chapter One

**A/N: So this is my second story, and I'll be updating them both periodically (hopefully nothing should be getting in the way of this) this one is quite less angsty than my other one, and I hope everyone enjoys it!**

**Summary: Rachel is living in New York, two years after graduating, and is attending NYADA with Kurt. Quinn is attending Yale in Connecticut. They both are aware that the other is attending school nearby but have not seen or talked to each other in two years. One night, through mutual friends, they meet at a bar in New York.**

**June 2012**

There couldn't possibly be anything better than this. She was on her to attend The New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts with her best friend, she was going to be living in the greatest place in the world, New York City, and she was going to be studying, and preparing herself for her inevitable and impending Broadway stardom. This was really it. She was really getting out of Lima, getting away from all of the people who tried to hold her back, and who ridiculed her talent. She could not wait to get out of this town and start her new life with Kurt in New York. As she packed though, she thought back to the people she would miss. She had actually made some friends through glee club. She thought about Mike who would be attending Julliard come fall. He hadn't wanted to leave Tina, who was staying in Ohio, and graduating next year. She thought about Mercedes who was going to attend school at UCLA, and of Noah and Finn who were going to The Ohio State University. She and Finn had tried to make it throughout their senior year, but somewhere along the way realized it was easier to just remain friends. They had slowly drifted apart, and before they could do serious damage to their friendship, ended things with each other. Of course, Artie and Blaine were also due to graduate after them as well. Kurt was handling that as well as he could, but she knew he hated the thought of being away from his boyfriend for so long. Santana and Brittany were also on their way to New York. Brittany would be attending Julliard, and Santana was going to be staying on campus at NYU, and studying law.

Then she let herself think about Quinn. Quinn, who always alluded her, who's friendship she had finally attained, after wanting it for so long. She would be at Yale. She was going to live only an hour and a half away from Rachel. The blonde was not going to be far from her. For some reason one of her biggest fears was that Quinn would leave and go far away, to California or somewhere of the like. She knew if Quinn left then there was no way they would be able to maintain the tentative friendship they had built. Of course, if she's not lying to herself, she wanted more, and she came close to getting it once, but fear, and alcohol, had stopped them both. She didn't think Quinn actually felt the same of course, there was no way she could, she was Quinn Fabray, former head cheerleader, and completely straight, I mean she got pregnant for God's sake. There was no way that she could ever want Rachel, the way she wanted her. It was just unusual circumstances that brought the two girls together. Constantly.

She thought back to that day, and that amazing, and frustrating night, of their graduation.

_One month earlier_

_Rachel was standing in the center of the choir room of McKinley High School for the final time. It was graduation day, and she was standing there in her red gown, holding the cap in her hand, thinking back to the very first rehearsal of the New Directions. Back then it was just herself, Artie, Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt. Five misfits that didn't fit in anywhere else at all. Then came Finn, and with him Noah, Mike, and Matt. The of course, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany. Sam, Blaine, and others would come later, and by some miracle they became a family. They found love, found themselves, and now they would all leave, and find themselves again._

_She hadn't noticed anyone's footsteps approaching, too lost in her own thoughts, and certainly did not notice the blonde standing, smiling at her, watching her lost in her thoughts, at the doorway._

"_Hey."_

_Rachel jumped, startled out of her daydream, "Oh! Hello Quinn. You scared me."_

_Quinn smiled at her, and made her way over to Rachel, "It's graduation day."_

_Rachel smiled back, and looked up into the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen, and probably would ever see, and rolled her eyes at the obvious statement, "Very astute Quinn. It is our graduation day. Our final day of school together."_

_The former cheerleader frowned slightly at that, "Well yeah, but we're only an hour and a half apart right? So we'll still see each other?"_

"_Of course we will Quinn. I can't imagine having you so close, and us never seeing each other, or visiting, and keeping in touch."_

_Quinn didn't respond, just stepped closer to Rachel, completely invading her personal space as she did so, and she had to take deep breaths to keep herself calm in order to stand so near her former enemy, "Are you going to Noah's post graduation party tonight Quinn?"_

"_I am. He told me there was no way I was getting out of this town without at least one big goodbye party, and it had better be his that I go to. Besides, it won't be all that bad. I bet it won't top your party junior year though."_

_At the mention of her party, it gave her the excuse she needed to step back from Quinn, as she groaned loudly, and sat in one of the chairs with her face in her hands, "Oh goodness Quinn, do not remind me. I believe I got completely clingy over Finn, made out with Blaine for the better part of the night, and also might have said some fairly inappropriate comments to you as well..."_

_The blonde threw her head back and laughed, "They weren't entirely appropriate, no, but they were nice, and you were drunk...really, really, drunk, so I suppose we can just let that one go. Everyone does slightly crazy things when they're drinking. Hell, I tried to rip Puck's mohawk off of his head, and screamed at him for the better part of the night about what he'd done to my body."_

_Both girls laughed lightly at the memory, or what little memory of that night they had. It had been fun, and it had been the first night that Rachel realized she had slightly-more-than-platonic feelings for Quinn. Her drunken state almost caused her to reveal that to Quinn but luckily before that could happen Santana had started screaming in Spanish and they had rushed off to help calm the hysterical girl down._

"_I'm glad we became friends Quinn. It really means a lot to me..."_

_She grabbed Rachel's hand and held it in her own at the shorter girl's words, "I'm really glad too, Rach. I don't think I've said it before, but I really, truly am so sorry for what I did to you," Quinn's eyes started to water, "For everything, the names, the slushies, the pictures, everything Rachel, I am so, so sorry."_

_Rachel pulled the other girl into a tight hug, and ran her hand through the short blonde hair, while she cried into her shoulder, "It's okay Quinn, I forgave you a long time ago for all of that, you have been through so much, and living in the past... It can not do either of us any favors. We have to forgive, and move forward, and that is exactly what we are doing."_

_Quinn sat up, but didn't pull away from her. Rachel reached her hand up, and wiped a tear off of her cheek, almost mirroring the night of their junior prom, when Quinn had ran out, and Rachel had chased after her. She tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear, and smiled. Both of their heads had been leaning unconsciously towards the each other, and then "Hey! We have been looking everywhere for you guys!" Noah burst into the room, and Quinn and Rachel broke apart quickly, "You can't have a graduation without the valedictorian and the salut-whatever you are in second place, Fabray." He winked at them both, and left the room, telling them to hurry up._

_The two girl cleared their throats, Rachel speaking first, "Okay. I guess this is it then."_

"_Yeah. This is it."_

"_Good luck Fabray." She said winking._

_Quinn smiled down at her, "Good luck Berry."_

_Later that night_

"_To the McKinley High School, Class of 2012!" Noah raised his cup and cheered, as did everyone else in the room._

_Everyone had started drinking almost immediately, as was per usual with one of Noah's parties. Tina and Mike were making out in a corner, as were Santana and Brittany. Artie and his new girlfriend were together by the beer pong table, and Mercedes and Sam, after finally having reunited were on the couch with some of the other football players. Finn seemed to be having a good time, though he might have been really drunk already. She was happy that he was happy, and when they caught each others eye, she smiled and gave him a small wave, and he smiled back and waved as well._

_She had yet to see Quinn the entire night, but the blonde had said she was coming, so Rachel kept her eyes open for her in the event that she arrived. These parties were not her entirely in her comfort zone, and Kurt seemed to sense that as he and Blaine moved towards her._

"_Not having a good time Rach?" He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and pressed a kiss to the side of her head._

"_It's not that, I think I'm just ready to get out of here you know? Not the party, it's fine, but the town. It just feels like there is still something I need to do here though."_

"_Or someone," Kurt muttered._

"_What?"_

"_Of come on Rachel. You don't have to pretend with me."_

"_Pretend what, Kurt?"_

"_Pretend that you have not been standing as close to this door as possible all night, just waiting for the moment that Quinn Fabray walks through it and graces us all with her presence."_

_Rachel glared at her friend, but didn't try and deny it. She knew he was right, and she knew he knew that. Blaine came up to her side as well, and tried his best at advice, as well._

"_Rachel, why don't you just tell Quinn how you feel? I mean, it's kind of obvious to us, but we're probably the only ones."_

"_No we aren't," Kurt interjects "Santana knows too. She's actually the one who brought it up to me. She asked me if, and I quote 'The Hobbit was trying to get into Tubbers' maternity pants' and it made me realize what I apparently have been missing for four years."_

_Rachel's face turned bright red for a moment, and she started to give a speech as to how she was not "trying to get into Quinn's pants" but at that exact moment the door opened, and Quinn strode in. Rachel nearly had to do a double take. Quinn was not wearing her normal sundress attire, no she was wearing what Rachel could only assume were the tightest, and most wonderful, pair of skinny jeans ever created, and a low cut tank top, with knee high, heeled, black boots, to complete the outfit that would surely kill Rachel. That is of course, until she walked up to the trio, and Rachel saw her up close._

_Quinn smiled, and raised her hand in a short wave, "Hey guys, hey Rach. How is the party so far?"_

"_It is, as always, a drunken teenage smut fest." Kurt responded, pulling Quinn into a hug, as they laughed._

"_I can see that, is there anyone at this party that doesn't currently have their tongue down someone else's throat?" Quinn said, glancing around the party at all of the couples, that just kept multiplying as the night went on._

"_Um, well, there's Rachel. I think that's it." Rachel swatted Kurt on the arm, as he and Blaine, politely excused themselves from the conversation to undoubtedly find a place to make out themselves._

"_Well that was awkward."_

_Quinn laughed, "Not really. I'm not making out with anyone either, so you aren't the only one I guess."_

_Rachel smiled up at her, and tried not to let the alcohol she'd already had flood her mind with thoughts of making out with Quinn Fabray, "Well, do you want to get something to drink? You know Noah won't let you get out of having at least one."_

"_Yeah, you're right on that one. You'll just have to take care of me if I get to drunk Berry. Clearly Santana and Brittany won't be the ones to do it."_

_She smiled and winked at her, and Rachel tried to rein in her breathing, and gulped, and chuckled nervously. Once they got the other girl a drink, the party seemed to get into full swing, and most of the couples detached themselves from each other and the dancing began. Brittany and Mike of course were the first out on the floor, and by association, Santana and Tina. Noah, Finn, Sam, and some of the other football players followed, and then some Cheerios, before it seemed everyone was dancing, and the music was pounding. _

_Quinn leaned down next to Rachel's ear, "Want to dance?"_

_The two had been standing off to the side, in their own world for most of the party so far, and had she been slightly more sober she might have said no, but this was her graduation night, and dammit she was going to dance with Quinn Fabray!_

_She stood on her toes to reach Quinn's ear, "I would love to dance, Quinn." They set down their drinks and made their way out onto the floor to some pounding beat. Santana and Brittany were to their right, grinding on each other, and Quinn twirled Rachel around in her arms so that her back was to her, and pulled her in. Their bodies swayed to the music, and Rachel decided if Quinn didn't care how they were dancing, then neither did she. She reached her arm behind her, and wrapped her hand around the back of the blonde's neck, and as she did so, Quinn's arm wrapped tightly around her waist, and she bent a little to acquiesce Rachel's height. They started to sway a little less, and grind a little more, and soon they were just grinding, much like Santana and Brittany._

_When the song finally switched, Rachel's body moved with it, and she turned to face Quinn, looping her arms around her shoulders and holding her neck with her hands. She looked up into her eyes, and found a brilliant shade of green staring back at her, and she knew her own eyes had to be close to black. As the music blasted, Quinn adjusted herself to better accommodate Rachel's body, slipping her thigh between Rachel's legs and bringing her hands to rest on her hips, and pulling her flush against her body._

_Rachel finally couldn't take anymore, and tilted her head up to Quinn's ear, brushing her lips across it as she spoke, "Do you want to go outside? It's starting to get really hot in here."_

_Quinn simply looked at her, and nodded, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the room, through the Puckerman's kitchen, and out the back door. The night air hit them, and they both took deep breaths. They left the porch, and went to sit on the grass, shrouding themselves in the darkness of the night. Quinn had yet to let go of Rachel's hand, and Rachel did not plan on bringing this up, in fear that she would let go as soon as it was mentioned._

"_I just really can't believe we're leaving soon." Rachel looked over at Quinn, and even in the darkness she could see the solemn expression on the blonde's face. "It's just that, I am so used to this. I know how everything is supposed to go here, and now I have to go off and be alone, and I'm scared. I can't imagine not seeing these people every day, can't imagine..." Quinn trailed off, mumbling the last part._

_Rachel leaned in closer to her, and said quietly, "Can't imagine what Quinn?"_

_Quinn turned her head to look into Rachel's eyes, the movement making them seem even closer to each __other, their faces were only a mere five inches apart from each other now, "Can't imagine not seeing you every day, Rachel." She said is so quietly Rachel didn't think she would have heard if she hadn't been staring at the blonde's mouth. Then she couldn't stop herself, she leaned in and pressed her lips to the blonde's, knowing that this might be her last chance, and framed her hand around Quinn's cheek. The blonde let go of her hand and reached up to hold Rachel's face with both of her hands, as Rachel's hand moved to the back of her neck. Quinn's tongue swiped Rachel's lower lip, and she immediately granted her access and then the kiss moved quickly, it was no longer slow and languid, but fast and frenzied, like they both knew it was the only one they would ever have, and when they finally disconnected, their foreheads resting against the others, Quinn looked into her eyes, and whispered against Rachel's lips._

"_I have to go."_

Present day

It was a month later, and she had not spoken to Quinn since then. They both pretended it had never happened, and when she had finally walked back into the house after Quinn ran away from her, there was no sight of the blonde. She blamed the alcohol. That's all it had been. She and Quinn would hopefully be able to retain their friendship through college, and they could both go on pretending that it had never happened. She was shaken out of her day dream by her vibrating phone, and she smiled when saw the text message from Quinn.

**Kurt told me you guys were heading out at the end of the week for NY. Let me know if you're free to hang out before you go, I miss you Rach.**

Her smile widened at the sight of the message. It was the first time Quinn had contacted her since the night of graduation, and it seemed it had not affected their friendship after all.

**Of course Quinn, I can make time. Tomorrow I'm free all day actually if you're available. I miss you too.**

**Hmm, look at that I am completely free and available for spending time with the soon to be famous, Rachel Berry.**

Rachel laughed at the text message, and told Quinn she could come over at any time the next day, as both of her fathers were called away on business and would not be returning until the day before she left, they would have the house to themselves. She sent the message, and then realized how presumptuous it must have sounded. She started to panic, and send another message, but before she could Quinn responded to her.

**Sounds great Rach, I'll bring some movies, we are not spending the whole time watching musicals again.**

She breathed a sigh of relief, and then decided it was time for bed. She clearly was going to have a busy day tomorrow and she needed her rest.

**There is nothing wrong with musicals, Quinn. Just...not a lot of zombie movies again ok? I'm heading to bed now, can't wait for tomorrow, good night Quinn.**

**Um...how many is a lot? jk. Night, Rach, sleep well.**

She smiled at the text, and then changed into something to sleep in. When she laid down in her bed, it dawned on her how bad of an idea this could turn out to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-Okay this chapter is still in the past and the next will be the first chapter set in the present timeline of the story aka two years later, and into Kurt and Rachel's second year at NYADA and Quinn's second semester at Yale. I'm still trying to think of what Quinn's major will be in college, so if anyone has any ideas feel free to leave them! **

**And thank you for the reviews!**

Chapter Two

Rachel woke up at precisely 7 am the next day (she let herself sleep in, as it was summer time and everyone needed a break at some point, even her) and immediately started her daily routine. After thirty minutes on her elliptical, she went to take a shower. Once she was finished she changed into some shorts and a plain black v-neck shirt, and went to check her phone, where she found a text from Quinn.

**Hey Rach, I'll be over in an hour if that's okay?**

Rachel smiled at the text, and immediately responded.

**That's perfectly fine Quinn, I will leave the door unlocked, you can let yourself in.**

**Okay, see you soon!**

Rachel went down to the kitchen to begin making her breakfast, and to wait for Quinn. While she was in the kitchen making waffles, she heard the door open, and then the most glorious person she had ever seen in her life stepped into her view.

Quinn was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wearing cruelly, short, red , McKinley High Cheerios gym shorts, and white tank top, and what appeared to be a red and black bikini top beneath it. Rachel had to stop herself from staring, and barely managed to not burn the waffles when the blonde stepped into her sight.

"Hey Rachel, those waffles smell fantastic, and you will be happy to know I only brought two zombie movies for us to watch." The blonde had a huge grin spreading across her face as she stepped forward, and into Rachel's space to look over her shoulder at the food cooking.

"Well thank you Quinn, I suppose. I am glad to know that you actually took my movie choices into consideration this time. Hopefully I can narrow down the nightmares to under a week this time." She turned her head to smile at Quinn, and suddenly the closeness between them seemed to have closed in on her. Quinn's face was not far from hers, and she had to quickly turn back around to avoid her growing discomfort at the blonde's presence behind her. Thankfully, Quinn seemed to not have noticed, but did move from behind her, only to prop herself up on the counter right next to Rachel, giving a clear view of legs that the brunette was now picturing around her head. She shook her head to get the thought out, and went back to the breakfast food she was now trying very hard not to burn.

"Sooo, I suppose there probably isn't any chance of bacon in this breakfast scenario huh?"

Rachel glared up at the blonde, "Quinn I do not think I need to remind you that-"

"A simple 'no' would suffice, Rachel." Quinn laughed.

Rachel narrowed her eyes up at Quinn, and finished making the food. She put one on a plate and handed it to the blonde, who took it with a smile and started to leave the kitchen.

"Quinn, where are you going?"

"To your room Rach, I have declared this day 'Spontaneous Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray Day' so we are going to do something crazy and, gasp, eat in your bedroom."

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, Quinn that leads to there being the possibility of mess, and ants, and then there will be bugs in my room, and absolutely not."

"C'mon Rach, pleaseee, if not for SRBQFD, then for me?" She stuck out her bottom lip in a fake pout, and really, who is supposed to resist that?

"Fine. But so help me Quinn, if there is any mess left in my room-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll go put the movie in, make sure to get extra napkins, because we wouldn't want you making a mess when you're jumping in terror at the movie."

Rachel rolled her eyes, as Quinn left the room to head upstairs, laughing the entire way. She picked up her food, and the napkins, and made her way upstairs. Quinn was already laid out on her bed, back against the headboard, waiting to start the movie, which was some zombie movie that Quinn loved, and Rachel despised.

She sat down next to the blonde, who smiled at her with a mouthful of waffle, and big cheeks. It was the most agonizingly adorable thing she had ever seen in her life. Quinn turned on the movie, and they watched and ate their breakfast. Rachel tried to eat hers quickly before the gore, and the terror set in. She managed her task, and set her plate down on the floor next to her bed. When the first zombie came out of nowhere, she jumped and screamed, grabbing Quinn's arm and burying her face in her neck. She felt the blonde tense for a moment, but it was gone just as quickly. Rachel stayed like that for the majority of the movie, jumping every time something jumped out, and turning her face into Quinn every time there was a zombie moving slowly down the deserted streets.

"I do not understand how you can enjoy this Quinn. It's terrifying, and I will be traumatized for the rest of my life."

Rachel couldn't see it, but she felt the eye roll above her, "You are so over dramatic Rachel. It's just a movie. It's not as if the zombies will get you through the screen."

"Well what if they do?"

"They won't."

"But what if they do, Quinn?"

"Then I'll keep them away from you, okay?"

Rachel finally moved herself slightly away from Quinn, and looked up at her. Their faces were extremely close now, and expressive brown eyes were staring intently at bright hazel ones.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Quinn had said it in barely a whisper, with her head tilted down toward Rachel, staring directly at her lips. When Rachel leaned up a little towards Quinn, the blonde jerked backwards off of the bed.

"I-I have to go."

"What? Why?"

"Rachel you know why."

"No, I most certainly do not Quinn, I can assure you of that. Obviously something is happening here-"

"Exactly! That's why I have to leave Rachel! There's something happening, and it shouldn't be, and I have to go before I let it happen again."

She was standing in the middle of the room, and now Rachel was off the bed too, angrier than she could remember being. She grabbed Quinn's arm, and whirled her around so that the blonde was facing her and she pointed her finger up at her.

"So you get to make that decision all on your own Quinn? My feelings don't matter because _you _believe that they shouldn't even be there?"

"That's not what I said. You're important, and your feelings are important, but this can't happen Rachel, it can't."

Rachel stepped into the blonde's space again, "No, what I think is that you're afraid. You're afraid to want me, and to want this, and now you're running. Well fine Quinn, run, leave. I'm always the one chasing after you, but I assure you this time it won't be happening. I can't keep running after you Quinn, it isn't fair!" She had tears running down her cheeks now. Years of built up feelings she didn't even know she had were pouring out, and she was finally telling Quinn everything.

"I never asked you to run after me Rachel. I never asked for any of this."

Rachel scoffed, "You didn't need to ask. Are you telling me you would have been happier if it had been Finn? Or Noah? That you would have been okay if Finn came to your rescue at the prom? Oh wait, that would have been impossible because he got himself kicked out. You would have listened if Noah had come to you that day under the bleachers, with all of the skanks, and begged you to come back to glee? I missed you Quinn. _I _missed you. _I _wanted you back, I needed you, and so I came to get you back. And youa still didn't see it. You still aren't seeing it now."

Quinn had tears streaming down her cheeks now as well, just listening to Rachel's tirade against her. She was looking anywhere but at Rachel, and when she finally looked at her, she stared in her eyes, and simply said, "I see it. I've always seen it," and then took two steps towards the tiny brunette, and crashed their lips together.

Rachel gasped into the kiss, and grabbed onto Quinn's hips. The blonde's hands were still holding her face tightly and the loud moans coming from the two girls were only muffled by the sounds of books falling off of shelves, and pictures being rattled off of Rachel's dresser as they collided against various surfaces, pushing and pulling each other across the room, until finally Quinn shoved Rachel's back against the desk.

Without breaking the kiss, she shoved the papers off of the surface, and lifted Rachel onto it. Her mouth finally moved from Rachel's as she trailed kisses along her jawline and up to her ear.

Rachel's fingers tangled in blonde hair, as Quinn leaned down and started attacking her neck with fervor. She peppered kisses up and down her neck, before running her tongue up the column of her throat, and sucking on her pulse point.

"Oh God, Quinn," Rachel moaned out.

This broke Quinn away from her, and the next thing she knew, her top was being pulled over her head, and Quinn went right back to her previous ministrations. Rachel released a moan when Quinn moved lower, biting harshly at her collarbone, before soothing over it with her tongue.

Then her tongue was moving lower and Rachel lost the ability to breathe. Quinn flattened her tongue and ran it down her sternum, before turning her head, and immediately taking Rachel's nipple in her mouth, sucking lightly. Quinn's hand reached up to her other breast and started pinching her nipple, and rolling it between her fingers.

Quinn's head moved upward again, as her hands stayed in place on Rachel's breasts, continuing where her mouth had left off. She once again buried her face in Rachel's neck.

"God Rachel, how could you think I didn't see it? How could you believe you were the only one?"

This snapped Rachel out of whatever trance she had been in, and she reached her hands up, and grabbed either side of Quinn's face and brought their mouths together once again. This kiss was just as frantic as all of their others, as Rachel brought her hands down, running them along Quinn's sides causing the taller girl to moan into her mouth. When her hands reached the hem of Quinn's shirt, she broke their mouths apart so that she could pull it over her head, and threw it to the floor along with her own shirt.

Quinn immediately started kissing her again, hands roaming all over Rachel's abdomen and chest. Rachel wasn't idle either. Her hands had quickly made their way to Quinn's breasts, and without breaking their kiss, she swiftly untied the bikini top Quinn was wearing to expose the most glorious chest she had ever seen in her life. She slowly slid off of the desk, and without breaking the kiss moved herself and Quinn to her bed. When the backs of Quinn's knees hit the bed, they toppled onto it, and Rachel moved her mouth down.

She brushed her lips along Quinn's jaw, moving down to nip at her neck. She sucked lightly and her pulse point before biting down harshly, hoping to leave a mark and make sure Quinn remembered this, no matter what. As she trailed hot, open mouthed kisses down her collarbone, and chest, she stopped briefly when she got to Quinn's breasts, for a moment all she could do was stare, unable to believe that she was actually getting to do this. She had Quinn Fabray, in her bed, without her shirt on, underneath her. Life couldn't get much better.

She quickly attached her mouth to Quinn's nipple, and sucked just as the blonde had done to her.

"Shit. Oh God, Rachel."

She looked up as best she could as the blonde arched into her mouth. Her hand was splayed across the blonde's stomach and started sliding up towards her other breast and as she fully cupped it in her hand, she bit down on Quinn's nipple. Quinn's back arched even more, and Rachel moved back up, taking the blonde's bottom lip between her teeth.

The two finally stopped for a moment, foreheads pressed together, and it was a moment too long, because Quinn seemed to realize what they had been doing, and where it could possibly lead, "Rachel, oh God, I can't, I can't do this. I'm so sorry," the blonde whispered as she rolled out from beneath her.

"Obviously you can Quinn, as you have been doing it."

"Don't Rachel. Don't try and make me feel bad about this." She was picking her shirt up off of the floor, and pulling it over her head, "I am not gay Rachel. Th-This was an accident. It was a fluke, and it won't happen again," the blonde was fully dressed now, and on her knees in front of Rachel, who had put her shirt back on as well and was sitting on the side of her bed, "I care about you Rach, I do. I just can't do this with you. It can't lead to anything good, and it's...it cannot happen again. It will not happen again. I want to be your friend Rachel. That's all."

Rachel had tears streaming down her face at this point and tried in vain to wipe them off of her cheeks. Quinn reached a pale hand up, and moved her thumb across her cheek, wiping away another stray tear, and holding her hand their on her cheek.

"I can't be _just _your friend Quinn, and you know you can't _just _be mine. We have never been _just_ friends."

The blonde looked up at her with wide eyes, "What are you saying?"

"That if we can't be everything...then I don't think we can be anything."

"Rachel..."

"No Quinn. You know it's true,"she spoke clearer now, and stood up off the bed moving around Quinn, who stayed unmoving on her knees, kneeling next to the bed, "We can't just pretend that this never happened, or at least, I can't pretend it didn't. I won't pretend that I don't want you, and if you can't accept that, and we both know you can't, then we can't be friends. We can't be anything other than two people who went to high school together."

Quinn stayed on her knees throughout everything Rachel said, and hadn't turned to look at her once. When she finished, both girls stayed silent, Rachel staring at Quinn's back, and Quinn facing the opposite wall on her knees. Slowly, she placed her hands on Rachel's bed, and lifted herself up off the floor. She turned to look at Rachel, and she saw tears swimming in Quinn's eyes, threatening to fall.

She walked right past Rachel to the door, and when her hand grabbed at the handle she heard the sob come from the tiny singer.

She turned her head slightly, tears in her eyes, and said to Rachel's back, before she walked out, in barely a whisper, "Goodbye Rachel."

Then she was gone and the door was closed, and Rachel stood sobbing in the middle of her wrecked room.

"Goodbye Quinn."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

New York, to put it simply, was fucking cold. The snow wasn't all that bad, she was actually used to it growing up in Ohio, though it wasn't as heavy, but the wind was the absolute worst. She and Kurt often made it a point to stay indoors as often as possible during this time of year and she could not for the life of her understand why she was outside in this hellacious wind right now.

Oh right, she had a roommate who's boyfriend had finally started living with them and it was a constant love fest in her apartment. If Rachel Berry has a problem with the amount of obnoxious love going around, it is possible you've taken it too far.

So that's why she was walking down the sidewalk in the freezing cold, and biting winds. She loved Kurt and Blaine, but it became too much every so often, and she needed to escape it. School provided some sort of a respite but even still, it honestly just reminded her how lonely she was. After walking a little ways, she decided to stop at a small park and sit at one of the benches, hoping the trees would offer some sort of shield against the harsh weather.

There didn't appear to be any empty benches however, most of them having already been filled with couples holding on to one another, and occasionally kissing or just smiling lovingly at one another. Apparently the love of the season was not to be escaped anywhere she went today.

She finally approached a bench that only had one occupant, and a small elderly woman, bundled in what looked like a vast amount of layers of clothing and looking out at the frozen pond in front of her bench.

"Hello, may I sit with you?"

The woman looked up at her and smiled, "Of course dear. I certainly won't be taking up the whole thing myself."

She shuffled over slightly so that she and Rachel could both sit comfortably on the bench together, and and Rachel sat down and looked out towards the pond as well.

"It really is very beautiful at this time of year isn't it?" she said, turning her head to look at the older woman.

"Ah, that it is. This time of year is one of the things that's kept me from leaving the city after all of these years."

"Really?" she said, laughing a little, "It's one of the things that makes me want to leave. However, I would only be returning home to my dads in Ohio so it is not much better there I would have to say."

"Oh goodness dear, but it's the most beautiful time of the year. You can barely keep me in the house. The smell of winter in the air, the snow falling, the lights, and the scent of Christmas trees. I even enjoy seeing the couples everywhere. Reminds me that love is still the most beautiful thing to behold, no matter what season it is."

Rachel nodded her head, turning away, but remained silent.

"Well it's not very often that mention of love silences someone completely. I might be a stranger you just met at a park bench, but if you need someone to lend a listening ear, mine is right here if you'd like. I'm Alice." She smiled at her again, and stuck out her gloved hand for Rachel to take.

The brunette smiled widely back at her, and held tightly to her hand as she shook it, "I'm Rachel Berry. It's very nice to meet you Alice."

"Well tell me then, Rachel Berry. Why so quiet on the love front?"

She took a few moments to respond to the question, before sighing and hanging her head slightly, "I'm not really sure actually. I love my life here in New York, don't get me wrong. I love going to school, and I love my roommate. He's my best friend. He knows me better than almost anyone. I have a more than a small group of friends now, and I've finally found where I am truly comfortable in terms of how I dress, but sometimes I don't know if I'm really happy. I think I might be lonely. I don't remember what it was like to be in love anymore, or to be loved by someone. So when people talk about love, I suppose I've just been clamming up."

"A gorgeous girl like you, and no handsome young man in your life?"

She chuckled lightly, and shook her head, "No. No handsome young man in my life."

Alice tilted her head curiously to the side for a second, looking at her, then straightened up and a knowing grin spread across her face, "So no beautiful young lady in your life either than?"

Rachel knew her eyes must have widened to a comical size because Alice threw her head back and laughed a very boisterous laugh, and patted her hand gently on Rachel's thigh.

"Oh dear, don't worry. When you get to be my age, you see things, and you learn things. So tell me, is there not a young lady in your life?"

"No... Not really. There was-at one time. Sort of. She's gone now though. I have dated since I've been here, two years now, but no one has really stuck you know?"

"Well are you waiting on the girl? The one from before?"

"What? No. Absolutely not. It was made very clear that there was nothing between us. That there would never be anything between us. We haven't even spoken in over two years," she felt her heart seize as she allowed herself a rare moment of thinking of flowing blonde hair and intense hazel eyes and shook her head to clear the memory away, "I haven't found anyone that makes me feel special, Alice. The people I seem to date, are too absorbed in themselves or don't have the same interests, or there just is no spark. I have burnt out on the dating scene. I want it, but at the same time, I don't."

"Well, I think we've found your problem then dear. Tell me, what are you most passionate about?"

She doesn't even hesitate for a second and her face breaks out into a wide smile, "Musical theater. I want to be on Broadway one day. I love to sing, and it's my dream. I love doing it, I always have."

"There. Right there. You should have seen your face light up as soon as the first syllable left your mouth. It was almost as if you were talking about a lover. That's passion dear. You need to be as passionate about the person you're with, if not more so, as you are with singing and Broadway. If you aren't, it won't ever work out. I'm not saying it isn't hard though sometimes, finding passion like that in a city like this."

Rachel sat silently, thinking about what Alice had said. She needed passion. Of course, objectively she knew that, but it hadn't occurred to her until now that she had been lacking it in all of her relationships since she had started college in New York. No one had made her feel the way...the way she felt during high school.

"Did you ever find it Alice?" she asked after a few minutes of silence, "Passion, I mean."

"Oh yes my dear. I found it. It was magnificent too. My husband and I were married for, oh, 57 years."

"Wow. That's amazing. Rare to hear these days as well."

"Yes, well, Tom was rare. He was the most amazing man. I remember very clearly the very first time I met him," she laughed lightly at the memory, "I completely and totally, hated him."

Both of the women started laughing at the comment, and didn't stop for nearly a full five minutes. Rachel, because it was said in the most loving way she had ever heard, and Alice because she couldn't help but laugh at the memory of her initial feelings for her husband. When they finally stopped, Alice continued telling her story.

"We were seven years old at the time, so mind you, when he pulled on my hair I believed he was just a foolish, silly boy," she chuckled again, "It wasn't until I had turned 14 years old, and he had become slightly more mature, though not by much, and was actually a very handsome young man, that I even began to think about seeing him as anything more than that little boy who had pulled my hair on the playground."

"Would you say he was the handsomest boy around, Alice?" Rachel asked smiling at her, enjoying hearing the story of Alice and her husband.

"Oh my goodness dear, he was beautiful. Of course, I never would have told him that. He had the most wonderfully warm, deep brown eyes, and full chestnut colored hair. He was taller than most of the boys in our grade, and he was strong too, he worked at one of the factories with his father during that time. The first time he asked me out on a date, I told him 'Tom Spencer, there is a snowballs chance in you know where of me ever agreeing to a date with the likes of you.' I had to give him credit though, because he was the most persistent boy around. He brought me flowers, walked me to school, was polite, and carried my books around for me, then walked me home. Telling him no got very difficult, and it only took him another month to get me to agree to a date with him."

Alice had become lost in her memories, staring off at the pond as she told her story. Rachel couldn't help but admire the look of love passing across her face as she told the story. She pictured a tall, sturdy young man, doing his best to win the affections of a girl he seemed to have liked for so very long. She hadn't noticed how dark it had become until Alice abruptly stopped her story.

"Oh dear, it is getting late. I don't believe I'll be able to finish this story today. I'm afraid it goes on and on."

Oh no Alice, you have to finish! I have to know how he finally got you to agree. No offense, but you seem pretty stubborn." She said laughing. Alice was laughing too, nodding her head.

"Well, I won't disagree with that my dear. I'll tell you what, meet me here tomorrow, same time and same place, and I'll give you a new part of the story, and you can give me a part of the story of your young lady, now now, don't give me any back talk, it's only fair," she finished, holding her hand up when she noticed Rachel beginning to protest her. She winked at her, and Rachel knew there was no way of getting out of that one.

"Okay, but I am glad to know that we'll be playing dirty from here on out." She said, smiling at Alice.

Alice laughed that loud, boisterous laugh at her, making some of the couples jump around them, "Honey, at this age, you do what you can, to get what you want."

The two of them got up off the bench, stretching a little bit, and started walking back towards the sidewalk. As they were moving across the park, Rachel realized she still wasn't entirely ready to go back to her apartment yet.

"May I walk you home Alice? I promise I won't try any funny business, like sneaking some more story out of you." She asked, grinning and winking at the older woman, who now that she was standing wasn't much taller than herself.

Alice laughed at Rachel's joke, "I suppose it couldn't hurt to have some company on my walk back home dear."

As it turned out, Alice didn't live very far from the park, and so after she bid her goodbye at her stoop, Rachel decided she would continue walking, instead of hailing a cab. By the time she had arrived back to hers, Kurt's, and Blaine's shared apartment, it was very dark out, and she was completely exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to go take a long bath, and then head to bed. As she turned the lock, and stepped inside though, a very angry and frenzied looking Kurt told her that this plan was not going to be executed easily.

"Where on _earth _have you been Rachel?"

He looked like he'd been going slightly crazy in her absence and when she looked at the clock on their tv, she realized she had been gone for a little over four hours.

"Oh my God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how long I had been out. I would have called had I noticed the time."

"Well actually, Rachel, that would have been impossible seeing as how you left your phone here at the apartment," his anger seemed to have deflated quite a bit at her immediate apology, "Just, next time, make sure you don't forget your phone, and don't stay out so late, and for so long. You know how I get..."

He trailed off, and she smiled at him, wrapping her arms around him in a big hug, that he immediately returned. She knew his anger was just masking his worry for her. He was always telling her to be careful, and she was always forgetting her phone, which just caused him to worry more. He loved her though, and she thought it was sweet how much he cared for her.

Blaine was walking out of the kitchen and saw the two of them hugging, "Oh thank God you're back. I'm pretty sure Kurt was about to have the police out looking for you if you hadn't come back within the next half hour."

Blaine and Rachel both started laughing, both at the joke, and Kurt's affronted look, but they all went back into the kitchen to eat the meal Blaine had cooked for them all. As they sat around their table eating Kurt started talking about some birthday party that was being thrown for a friend at a bar that weekend.

"We have to go Rachel. It's Evan's 21st. He'll be so disappointed if you don't show up. Besides, you know he has a massive and blatant crush on you."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "I know he does Kurt, which is why it's mean to go to his birthday, even though he knows I have no intentions of ever dating him. I would like to enjoy a night with my friends as much as anyone, but do you remember the last time we were at a party where Evan got drunk?"

Kurt cringed at the mention of that party. It had started as a simple house party for friends, and when Evan showed up and saw Rachel, he had gotten incredibly trashed, and proceeded to declare his love for the brunette. On a stage. In front of everyone. When all Rachel had done was stand in shock, staring at him with wide eyes, and blushing furiously, he attempted to jump off the makeshift stage, and ended up nosediving, and they were in the ER with him for three hours. Evan was one of their good friends at school, and as much as she didn't want to miss his birthday, she feared things would get too awkward. She had made it very clear to him on various occasions that she was most definitely not interested in him at all, but he had not seemed to take the point.

"I don't know Rach. I was in class with Erin today and she said he was bringing a date to the party," said Blaine "Maybe he's finally getting over you."

"You see Rachel. Evan is getting over you. So you can stop being a homebody, and come out with your two favorite gay men, and get drunk, and enjoy your evening."

"I suppose there is no way to get you to let this go, Kurt?"

"Absolutely not. So I will help you pick out your outfit, and maybe you'll meet someone you actually _want _to be with this time."

She knew there was no point in arguing with him so she just let him have his way, and agreed to be home as early as possible on Friday so he could dress her as he saw fit. She was constantly making the joke that he was her own personal stylist, and he never argued. She didn't mind, as Kurt managed to help her keep her own style, and also look more mature, and grown up.

"I met an elderly woman at the park today. She was telling me about her husband, and how they met. It was really nice. I'm going back tomorrow to get some more of the story." Rachel decided a change of subject was for the best.

"Oh really? What was her name?" Blaine was looking genuinely interested now that the conversation had switched from Kurt raiding Rachel's wardrobe and the party.

"Her name was Alice. She was very sweet, and I can't wait to hear the rest of the story. She and her husband were married for 57 years."

"Wow. That's really impressive," Blaine smiled and reached for Kurt's hand, "Maybe one day we can talk about how we met and were married for 57 years."

"That implies I will be admitting to being over the age of 45 Blaine, but yes, it will be lovely."

The three of them laughed, and continued eating, and talking about marriage, and the party. Rachel decided that maybe this party would be a fun idea after all. She hadn't seen some of her friends in awhile, and hadn't been outside in even longer. A party would do her good.

Maybe she would be able to find that passion that Alice was talking about.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Okay, so this chapter isn't quite as long as they other ones, but it is the first from Quinn's POV. Thank you all so much for all of your great reviews, and suggestions, and keep them coming! We'll be meeting some more new people as the story progresses, and any ideas on Gleeks to meet along the way would be welcome too!**

**We're getting closer to finally having that Faberry interaction, so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter Four

"You're going."

"I am not."

"You are _going._"

"No, I am _not._"

"_Quinn_."

"_Nicole."_

"I am not going to let you become one of those creepy people who never leaves their house and has tons of cats, and only eats bran, okay? You're coming to this party."

"Nicole, while I appreciate your concern over the well being of my social life, I really do have a huge test coming up, and I can't just go to New York this weekend for a birthday party for some guy."

"He is not just _some guy_, Quinn. I really, really like this guy, and it's his birthday, and I would love to have my roommate-slash-best friend come and meet him. Is that asking so much?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and finally relented, "Fine. I'll go, however I am not going to pretend to enjoy myself."

"Yay!" Nicole screamed and pounced on Quinn, hugging her tightly, and kissing her cheek, "You're the best Quinn!"

"Yeah, yeah, now please let me study. One of us needs to earn a law degree, and you're more likely to break than enforce it."

Nicole laughed, and rolled her eyes as she walked into their kitchen, finally happy that Quinn had agreed to go out with her. Quinn loved her roommate, and she knew that Nicole loved her back, but sometimes Quinn wondered how they even managed to get along in the first place. They were basically polar opposites in everything they did. Nicole was about the same height as her, with long dark hair that reached down to the middle of her back, and bright green eyes. She was loud, loved to argue (which Quinn thought was perfect when she learned she was in law school as well) and she was always the life of every party. She had seen Nicole crack a book about four times in two years, and Quinn was constantly having to remind her that not everyone worked that way. She was constantly trying to get Quinn to come out of her "self made, creepy, Donnie Darko-esque, shell" and come out with her, and Nicole was practically the entire reason Quinn had even met anyone new at school in the first place.

Quinn sat back on the couch with her book, and picked her glasses up from the table. She really did need to study, but she knew that arguing with her friend on this particular subject was fruitless, and giving in would get her a lot farther.

It's not like she didn't like going out, she just wasn't someone like Nicole, who never needed to open a book, and did need to study. She also had a big fear that Nicole was trying to set her up with someone-again. She was a second year law student, she barely had any time at all for herself, let alone another person.

It also wasn't as if she didn't _want_ to date. There were plenty of guys around the school, as Nicole was often reminding her, just none of them were her type. She'd dated a few guys, none lasting longer than a few months, and went on some dates after that, but she just wasn't available like they needed her to be. She had finally just given up on dating all together, deciding instead to focus on herself, and on school, and work. A boyfriend wasn't going to get her through law school, so it was something she didn't consider necessary.

As she sat on the couch, Nicole finished making her food, and sat down across from Quinn on the opposite end, propping her feet up and leaning her back against the arm of the couch, facing her.

"You know, Evan has some pretty cute friends from his school. Maybe we'll finally find you someone."

Quinn sighed, knowing full well that this was coming, "Nic, we've been through this a million times. I am not looking to date any guy you try and set me up with. I appreciate it, you know I do, I just don't have time for guys right now."

Nicole grinned over at her, "Well, I don't recall specifying that he had _guy_ friends-"

"I am not interested in _anyone_ you have in mind Nicole. Do not start that again."

"I'm just saying Q. I've seen you go out with like, four guys, in two years, and you've found the most bullshit reasons to stop dating them, if you were even close to being relatively interested in the first place."

"So that makes me gay?" Quinn rolled her eyes, "I just didn't have anything in common with them."

"Really? You didn't have anything in common with Jared? He was a law student, moved here from Ohio, was an honor student and at the top of his class, head of the celibacy club at his own high school, and on top of all of that, he was a cheerleader for two years. You had everything in common with him."

Quinn lowered her eyes and mumbled out, "I don't see what that has to do with anything-"

"And do you remember what you said when you broke up with him?" Nicole asked, interrupting Quinn's pathetic attempt to dispute the claim.

Quinn sighed, and finally looked right at her friend, "I don't see how or why my breaking up with him was relevant."

Nicole decided to ignore her completely and kept going, "You said that he added and I quote 'so much sugar in his coffee that I'm sure I'd get a cavity from kissing him' end quote."

"Just say what you're trying to say so I can go back to my work Nic."

"I've been trying to say it for years Q. Maybe it's just you know, that you aren't interested in the guys around Yale, you just aren't interested in guys at all."

"I am not gay. We-We've discussed this, and I'm not. There's no way I could be."

Nicole sighed and turned her body back to face their tv, "Whatever you say Quinn. I'll take the small victories in life, and be happy you're coming to this party with me," Nicole said, "I really do appreciate it Q. I really like this guy."

Quinn smiled at her friend. She knew Nicole worried about her, and just wanted her to be happy, and she wanted the same for her, "I suppose it won't be that bad. So what's his name? Where's he go to school?"

"His name is Evan Hall, and he goes to this drama school in New York. He's turning 21 and the party we're going to is at a bar near the school I guess."

"What's the name of the school?"

"It's something kind of long, let's see, New York Academy of something or other."

Quinn's eyes got wide, "The New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts?"

"Yes! That's it. How did you know that?"

"I-I...I know some people that go there is all."

"Oh, well maybe they'll be there, and you can catch up. You won't be able to complain that Evan's taking me away from you."

Quinn made a forced kind of laugh that Nicole seemed to take as real, and turned the tv on to some reality show about socialites or something, leaving Quinn to her thoughts.

NYADA was a big school right? There was no way she would be running into her. What were the chances that she would be going to some birthday party, and she would be there? They had to be slim to none, if even that. She hadn't even let herself think about long brunette hair, or deep, dark brown eyes that were always staring at her as if they could see right through her. A voice that made her tremble just at the thought of it. Rachel Berry certainly wouldn't be caught in a bar anyways, so there was nothing to worry about. She didn't really know what she was like anymore though. The Rachel she knew in high school would have gone off on a tangent about the dangers of drinking, and socializing in such a place, with probably some sort of power point presentation on the dangers of going to bars in the city.

No, she definitely didn't know Rachel Berry anymore. The Rachel she knew, also wouldn't have cut off every line of communication between a friend and herself. She wouldn't have given an ultimatum of everything or nothing at all. She could still remember the way she felt leaving the Berry house that day with tears streaming down her face. She had nearly crashed five times on her way home, and it took her a full twenty minutes to even be able to get out of her car.

The sudden onslaught of memories she had long repressed suddenly had her angry. She was mad at Rachel, mad at herself, and mad at Nicole for even making her think about the tiny singer.

"I'm going to go out for a run okay? I'll be back in a little while."

"Are you sure? I thought that you needed to study for some test?"

"No it's fine, I'm already ahead a few more chapters than I thought I would be. I need to just... I need to go."

"Quinn, what's wrong? You were fine five minutes ago."

"I am fine Nic, I am. I just want to go out and get a run. I haven't been running in awhile and I need it."

Quinn hurriedly picked up her things and went in her room to deposit them all onto her bed. She quickly changed into her shirt and sweatpants, and put on some sneakers to go running. She picked up her iPod and plugged the headphones into her ears, not wanting to give Nicole the opportunity to ask her what was wrong again. She played the shuffle on her iPod and started off an intense run.

She had always loved running. Even during Sue Sylvester's torture camps, running was her favorite. It always helped when she was mad, or upset, or hurt, she just ran. It helped her clear her mind, and let her get out her aggression in a healthy way. Nicole had once suggested that she take up kickboxing when she had seen Quinn lose her temper, and throw one of her text books, but then thought better of it when she realized it would only make Quinn stronger, and actually give her an ability to fight.

Of course, she couldn't even escape what was angering her during her run, as the sounds of Rachel belting out 'Don't Rain On My Parade' filled her ears and she nearly tumbled over onto the sidewalk, face first.

She wanted to take the headphones out, but she couldn't. She hadn't allowed herself to listen to Rachel sing in over two years. After the brunette had told her she didn't want to be friends anymore, she had cut her out completely, and that included her singing.

She sat down on the grass next to the sidewalk, chest heaving from exertion, and put her face in her hands. She couldn't have stopped the tears from falling even if she had tried. Everything was too much for her, and she couldn't contain it.

She didn't let herself think of Rachel, or anything that could possibly relate to her, so she had thought it meant she didn't miss her. Didn't miss how she laughed, or how big her smile got when Quinn would say they could watch Funny Girl for the fourth time in a row. How she would scowl at Quinn when she would ask for bacon, and the way she put her whole heart and soul into every single performance.

She had tried her hardest to hold on to being angry at the tiny singer. Angry that she had befriended the blonde, and then left her like everyone else. She was angry at her for making her feel things she shouldn't. Angry at her for this moment right now, that had resulted in Quinn crying her eyes out over a girl she hadn't seen or spoken to in over two years. It was unfair what Rachel did to her, and now she was hoping she was going to see her at this party. Two years and Quinn might actually have a chance to finally tell the brunette how she had felt about it. She was finally going to get her say after all of this time.

Friday came faster than Quinn had expected and all of sudden she was in her room, trying to choose something. Okay, that's a lie. She was in her room, letting Nicole raid her closet, and pick out something she deemed appropriate for the evening. Apparently this was something that Quinn was not capable of doing on her own.

"Okay, so definitely these jeans, here," she tossed the jeans in Quinn's direction, "You have a great ass Q, I don't know why you don't show it off more often."

Quinn rolled her eyes at her friend, and began changing out of her shorts to put the jeans on. Nicole had been going crazy all morning finding the perfect outfit for herself, which turned out to be a simple black dress that was low cut, and came up just above mid-thigh on her.

"You do realize that we're not leaving for another two hours, and you're already completely ready, right? I don't actually need to change at this moment."

Nicole turned and glared at her, and seemed to deem that an appropriate response to Quinn's statement. She turned back to going through Quinn's closet and throwing things around.

Finally after another ten minutes, "AHA! I finally found something that isn't going to make you look like you just left Sunny Brook Farms."

What she had in her hands nearly had Quinn immediately disagreeing with her. She had picked out a sleeveless black top that flowed at the bottom, showing off her curves, and had an opening in the front that showed off more cleavage than she would ever be comfortable with. Since it was winter, and that obviously wasn't winter attire, she also had in her hands Quinn's leather jacket with the fleece lining and hood. She knew that the jacket was her way of placating Quinn's disapproval of the shirt, as it was her favorite, and she wore it all the time.

"I guess there isn't going to be any arguing with you over this is there?" Quinn asked, as she took the clothes from her friend.

"I would say yes, but I don't want to lie to you Q."

Quinn laughed and laid the clothes out on her bed, "I like how the only shirt in my entire wardrobe you've deemed appropriate party attire, is the only shirt I have ever let you buy me."

"Well, what can I say? I have impeccable tastes," Nicole said, flipping her hair over her shoulder and turning to leave the room, "Now get your ass in gear Q, we've got places to go, people to see, and parties to attend."

Quinn went into her bathroom to finish her hair and make up, and when she finally finished, an hour and a half later, with Nicole's fist banging on the door, she had finally realized why her roommate had been making her get ready so early. She quickly threw on the top and the jacket, and pulled on a pair of knee high, heeled, black boots that Nicole had picked out, and they were on their way to New York.

As they drove in the car Quinn couldn't help but hope, and fear, that a tiny brunette singer with the voice of an angel would be at this little bar in the city. She knew everything she wanted to say to Rachel, it would just be a matter of getting the words out when and if, and it was a really big if, she was even there.

Nicole could sense there was something going on with her, and turned her head slightly, "You okay Q?"

"Yeah Nic I'm fine. Just been awhile since I've been out you know? Meeting new people isn't really my thing."

Nicole reached across the console of her car, and grabbed Quinn's hand, "Hey, it will be fine. I'll be there with you, and you said you know some people so it won't be that bad. Sometimes I wonder how you can be such a bad ass in our arguments, and when it you're talking about the law, but meeting new people sends you into a frenzy."

Quinn chuckled to herself and looked out the window, away from her friend, "We can't all be as socially and professionally perfect as you are Nicole."

Nicole laughed, "No you're definitely right on that. No one is quite as perfect as me."

The two friends laughed and talked the rest of the trip, until finally, they were pulling up to the small bar, that already had a small group milling about outside. Quinn glimpsed a small young woman with dark brown hair, and her heart soared. When the girl turned around and she wasn't Rachel, she felt her heart drop into her stomach. They walked up to the group, Nicole jumping into the arms of who she assumed to be Evan, and then turned around to introduce Quinn to her date.

"Quinn Fabray, meet Evan Hall."

"It's nice to meet you Quinn, I've heard a lot about you."

Then from behind him in the group somewhere, she heard it. A short gasp and then,

"Oh my God, it's Quinn Fabray."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Sorry for the longer wait on this one, but I hope it's to all of your likings :) and once again thanks to all of the reviews!**

Chapter Five

"_Oh my God, It's Quinn Fabray."_

Her throat went completely dry. The words seemed to explode in her ear drums. She heard them but that didn't mean they had immediately registered. There was no way if she turned around she ould see her two best friends walking towards Quinn Fabray. It had to be a mistake. No, when she turned around there would be no blonde hair, or tall statuesque figure, no hazel eyes that sent a whirlwind of emotions to cascade through her entire body.

No, when she turned around, all she would see was a girl her friend had clearly mistaken for their former classmate. Right? Apparently not. As she felt herself turning in the direction of the group, in what actually felt like slow motion, she was met with Kurt hugging her former enemy and friend, and as she looked towards the other face, she saw that none other than Quinn Fabray was staring directly at her over Kurt's shoulder. As soon as she met her eyes, it felt as if nothing had changed in her. Bright hazel eyes held onto dark brown ones, and she felt everything around stop. She could no longer hear the sounds of cars, or their friends, or all of the people making their way through the city. Nothing was penetrating her mind but those eyes. Two years. She had gone two years not seeing her, two years of doing everything she could to not let her mind slip and picture Quinn Fabray in any way, shape, or form, a task she often failed at, and now here she was standing in front of her.

Rachel always thought the moment she saw Quinn again would be happy one. They would hug, and reminisce about their lives, and school, and everything they'd missed. She never imagined that a surge of anger would course through her at the sight of the other girl. Yet here she was- extremely pissed off at one blonde, former cheerleader. It wasn't fair of Quinn to just show up here. These were her friends, her life, and once again, Quinn was invading into it, and would probably leave just as she did before and go back pretending like Rachel was never anything to her. She didn't want to give Quinn the satisfaction of knowing how much not seeing her hurt, so she did her best to pull on the mask Quinn wore throughout much of their high school days.

Kurt had released Quinn from his hold, and Blaine had stepped in to hug her as well, letting go a little quicker than Kurt had.

Kurt turned towards her, pointing at Quinn "Rachel, look who-"

He was abruptly cut off when Quinn stepped away from him, and began moving towards Rachel, finally stopping directly in front of her, so close that Rachel had to tilt her head up to maintain their eye contact. That was something Quinn always did. No matter if they were friends or enemies, Quinn always stood so close to Rachel she had no choice to look up or back away. It had felt like a challenge when they were enemies, one Rachel always took, her feet remaining rooted to the spot staring up into Quinn's eyes. When they were friends it had always seemed a little different to her though, like Quinn was always trying to get closer to her by standing so much in her space.

"Hey Rach."

Still looking right at Quinn, Rachel was trying to look at all of her. She seemed older. She was still as beautiful as she had always been, if not more attractive with time. Her hair was back to the short cut she adopted right after they lost at National's, but from what Rachel could tell she was still the same girl in every aspect.

"Hello Quinn." She said it in almost a whisper, not willing to know if her voice would betray her at a higher register.

"Long time no see." Quinn spoke evenly and with a completely unreadable expression.

Maybe that's what did it. What brought Rachel's slightly annoyed and angry feelings to completely pissed off. Quinn was acting so passive around her, looking at her like she would a stranger, and speaking to her like she was just another person she was meeting at a party. Rachel knew it was the tone Quinn used when she didn't want people to know how or what she was feeling, but it didn't make any difference. They were Quinn and Rachel. Quinn should have known better than to try and use it on her.

"Or speak." This time she spoke louder, and in a harsher tone. The hoarseness of her voice also taking away some of the impact she had intended.

Anyone else would have been put off by the words, probably would have let it go as someone holding a grudge, but never Quinn. No one enjoyed challenging Rachel Berry quite like Quinn Fabray did, and she attempted to do it every chance she got no matter the circumstances. That was their relationship, constantly pushing and pulling the other one, and they both loved it.

Quinn knew what feelings she was trying to get across to her. Of course she did. Quinn always knew, she knew how she spoke, knew each inflection in her voice. It had taken her nearly four years to learn them all. Two years as enemies, battling the other over a boy and glee club, and other trivial matters, and then another two years as friends, sleeping over, spending time together, learning each other, and of course those things the two of them never talked about. It had only taken around twenty minutes in her bedroom however to ruin every moment that had happened between them.

Quinn's eyebrow arched perfectly at her, "And who's fault is that Rachel?"

Rachel finally took a step back from her at that, "If you're implying it is in anyway _my _fault Quinn, then I am going to have to completely disagree with you. _You _made decision. Not me."

She could see the anger rising in Quinn now as well, but she just could not bring herself to care. She had lost the most important person to her for the past two years. The moments she allowed herself to think of Quinn were the moments she had needed the blonde the most. Her first college break up, she had moped around for two weeks, and Kurt had been completely powerless in helping her through it. Her first real criticism, when she had broken her arm falling off the stage, so many things had happened in two years, and every time she would think of what Quinn would say to make it better, or to help her, and it would hurt her heart that much more. When those moments came along, the times when she thought she absolutely _needed _Quinn, she would always remind herself of the memory of Quinn, lifting herself off of Rachel's bedroom floor, walking right past her, and walking out of the door, and out of her life for the last time.

"It was a decision that never would have had to been made had _you _not given out a ridiculous ultimatum _Rachel_."

"It was not ridiculous _Quinn_-"

"Um, ladies, not to interrupt what is turning into a _very _interesting conversation that I'm sure everyone will be discussing later inside, but there is a birthday going on here, and everyone is going inside." A tall, dark haired woman, whom Rachel only knew as Evan's date for the night, interrupted their increasingly heated argument.

Quinn didn't take her eyes off of Rachel, and vice versa, then she spoke very clearly, "It's fine Nic. There obviously is _nothing _left here for me to discuss."

It might have been two years since she had seen Quinn but it had been even longer since she had seen the look she was getting now. A look of cold indifference that was washing over the blonde's beautiful face. Quinn was drawing her well worn mask to protect herself from Rachel. The harsh, cruel, cold hearted girl that Rachel knew lay dormant in Quinn was emerging, and from the look on the brunette woman's face next to Quinn, she had never had the benefit of that particular look being bestowed upon her at all. Rachel knew that face better than her own however, and had had it directed at her more than a few times. Before she had time to respond to Quinn's comment though, she had turned on her heel and marched off towards the door to the bar, flinging it open, and stalking inside.

Quinn's words were still pinging around her mind, and she hadn't noticed that the woman was still standing there, rooted to the spot, staring her down. She was too preoccupied with Quinn's emphasis on the word "nothing" to care much at all about anyone else standing around. Finally, she looked up, and caught the woman's eye.

"What?" It was said rather harshly, which she hadn't intended and would undoubtedly apologize for later in the night, but at that moment she could care less what the woman thought of her.

"You're the one."

Well she certainly wasn't expecting that, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I've known Quinn for a long time. We've been roommates since our very first day at Yale, and haven't spent more than a week apart in all that time. She has never, not even with any of her boyfriends, had as much emotion and passion as I just saw in a five minute conversation with you. I've asked her more than a few times what's up with her, you know, dating-wise, and she's always shot down any notion that a girl had anything to do with it. In fact, she's _adamant_ about it, and now I know why. I thought, maybe a some guy fucked her over in high school and she never got over it, or maybe she's just some kind of emotional cripple, but it's you. You're the one. The one that made that girl in there the way she is now."

Where confusion had been mere seconds before, boiling anger now resided. This woman knew nothing about her and Quinn's relationship, or lack there of. She had known Quinn for two years, and Rachel for not even ten minutes. She had known Quinn longer than anyone, had kept secrets for her, and knew everything there was to know. Who was this woman that suddenly thought she knew anything at all?

Rachel glared coldly at her, "You have absolutely _no_ idea what you're talking about. At all. You've known Quinn for two years? I've known her my entire _life. _Our relationship and everything about it is _none _of your business."

Kurt and Blaine had come up behind her by now, and were listening to the entire exchange with very perplexed looks on their faces.

"No you're right. I may not know the story between the two of you, and maybe you have known her longer, but I _do _know that girl that just stormed inside. Very well I might add, and you are the one." With that she followed Quinn's path inside to rejoin the party, leaving behind an irate Rachel, a very worried Blaine, and a very, very curious Kurt.

"So clearly something more than that excuse you gave me, oh what was it? 'Quinn and I have simply lost touch, it is not uncommon for people to grow apart in life. It had happened to us once, it can happen again,' is going on here. Considering that we're here for one of our closest friend's birthdays, and not the everlasting drama that is Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray, so I am going to let it go for the night. Just so you're aware though, you have not, and will not, get out of explaining what just happened out here."

Kurt was staring at her pointedly, waiting for some sort of agreement. She wanted to protest, but she knew it would be pointless, so she sighed and nodded her head, appeasing her friend. The three of them finally walked inside the bar, and as soon as she stepped foot inside, she of course saw Quinn. She had a drink in her hand, and looked as if she had been staring at the door, waiting for her entrance. If Quinn had nothing more to discuss with her, she had nothing more to discuss with Quinn. She would continue to ignore her as best she could for the rest of the night, and then go back to pretending like she never knew a Quinn Fabray. It wasn't as if she didn't have practice in that particular area, in fact if there were awards given out for not thinking about Quinn Fabray, she's pretty sure she would win each and every one of them.

She headed for the bar, and ordered her drink, a vodka tonic, and then started looking around for Evan. She finally spotted him in a corner, talking and laughing with some of their other friends from school, and his date. She wasn't really fond of his date, but she was happy he was finally getting over his crush on her. It had been years, and she felt bad for not reciprocating his feelings, it's not something she could control. He was one of her closest friends, and she just wanted him to be happy, and if this girl made that happen, she would do her best to give her another chance.

She walked over to the group of people, and approached Evan, "Hey Evan, happy birthday!"

As soon as he saw her, he picked her up in a huge hug, twirling her around. They were both laughing hard once he put her down, and she could tell he was already on his way to not remembering this birthday.

Evan was nearly as tall as Finn Hudson had been, but he was far more lean. He was muscular, but not built the way Puck had been. The first time she met him she thought he looked like a combination of Finn and Sam Evans. He had dirty blonde hair, and clear, piercing blue eyes. He was really very sweet, and a genuinely nice guy. He had been one of the first real friends Rachel had made in college, and she really loved him, she was just never in love with him.

"My favorite Berry! I'm glad you came Rachel."

"Evan, you know I would never miss out on your birthday."

"Yeah well, I mean, just with all the stuff, you know..." He trailed off looking around, and when his eyes landed on Nicole, he realized he hadn't introduced the two, "Oh! I'm such a jackass, Rachel this is my date Nicole Woods, she goes to Yale. Nicole, this is Rachel Berry, the very first friend I made at school."

The two girls eyed each other warily for a few seconds, before Nicole stuck out her hand for Rachel to take, "Nice to _officially _meet you Rachel."

Rachel reached out and gripped her hand, "And you as well Nicole." She dropped her hand, and took another sip of her drink before speaking again.

"Yale is extremely impressive. What are you studying there?"

Nicole smiled at her, "I study law. Actually, my roommate and I both do, so you can imagine the arguments that go on in our house."

So Quinn was studying law. It seemed appropriate. No one liked a challenge more than Quinn, and Rachel also suspected she truly enjoyed arguing with people. She would view it as a competition, and no one knew how to win quite the way Quinn did.

Evan spoke up at the mention of her roommate, "Oh yeah, I never really got the chance to talk to her. Quinn, right? Where's she at anyways? I've heard a ton about her. I want to hear if she's a great as you say she is."

Before Rachel could even think about excusing herself from the group, Nicole was calling Quinn over to her to talk with Evan.

"Hey Q! Come over here for a minute!"

Quinn looked over at them, and hesitated briefly when she saw Rachel. She finally moved over to the group, and stood between her and Nicole.

"You called your majesty?"

Nicole rolled her eyes at her, "Evan was wanting to get to know you a little better, apparently I said something about you being pretty cool or whatever, though I don't remember it happening. I brought you over to prove that statement wrong." She winked at Quinn who rolled her eyes back, and lightly punched her on the arm.

"Yeah, Nic's always talking about how you're super smart and shit. Going to be a big successful lawyer some day. A pretty good singer too I hear. Well, she says you only sing in the shower, but I know shower acoustics are pretty good. I have to say, no one sings quite like the munchkin over here." He said jerking his thumb in Rachel's direction.

Quinn smiled lightly, and looked at her, "No that's true. No one sounds like she does."

It was spoken so quietly Rachel questioned for a moment whether she had actually heard it or not. Evan was looking between the two of them utterly perplexed at the fact that Quinn had apparently heard Rachel sing before.

"Wait, you guys know each other?"

Rachel tore her eyes away from Quinn's, and looked up at Evan, "Yes actually, we-"

"They were McKinley High School's Most Dramatic. And coming from me, that's saying something." Kurt and Blaine had walked up, and joined the group of them. Kurt seemed to be very pleased to take over the retelling of Quinn and Rachel. A story he only partially knew in the first place.

"They hated each other, tolerated each other, dated the same guys, then managed to get over themselves, and finally become friends. Funny how things turn out that way isn't it?"

Rachel was pretty sure that if it were actually possible, there would be smoke billowing from her ears at that moment. Had she looked over at Quinn, she would have seen her features mirrored almost exactly. Kurt took note of the looks the two women were giving him, and decided to change the subject quickly to something he could more easily navigate through.

"Not to abruptly change the subject on everyone, but I have to say Quinn, it is good to see that your attire hasn't changed much since the last time I saw you. In fact, I believe the outfit you're wearing tonight is almost exactly what you were wearing the last night I saw you. Puck's post-graduation party if I'm not mistaken."

"I, um, yeah, I-I guess it is," Quinn stammered out, not fully expecting the conversation to turn onto her, "I guess I'm just a creature of habit."

Nicole scoffed, "That is the biggest understatement I've ever heard. I actually celebrate moments when Quinn changes something up. The moments happen less often than leap years."

Rachel was now eying Quinn's outfit. She hadn't really noticed it before, but Kurt was right. The jeans, the boots, the shirt, the jacket. Nearly everything was a replica of that night. It was a night that was burned into her mind forever. The mere thought of that night sent heat coursing throughout her entire body. She downed her drink, and excused herself to the bar to get another one. There was no way she was going to be able to spend the entire night in Quinn's presence now, not with thoughts of that night coursing through her.

She was leaning against the bar, waiting for the bartender to finally notice her, when she felt someone behind her. She didn't need to turn to know it was Quinn. She smelled vanilla as soon as she walked up, and Quinn's presence always elicited goose bumps all over her.

She was standing directly behind her, and then she heard her voice in her ear.

"I need to talk to you."

She finally turned and looked at her, "Well then by all means Quinn, talk."

"Not here."

Rachel scoffed, "Well where do you propose we go? We're in a bar full of people, it's not as if this is the best place for private conversation."

Quinn looked around them for a moment, and then grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her in the opposite direction of her friends.

"Quinn, what the hell?"

"Just, stop arguing for a minute Rachel."

They came up to the bathrooms, and Quinn pulled her in. It was really small, and there was only one stall and a sink inside. She assumed this to be a side, or back bathroom because it wasn't a small bar, and there was no way this could be the only one in the entire place.

"Well, you wanted to talk Quinn. You've dragged me into a dirty bar bathroom. What did you want to say?"

Quinn's back was to her, and she was running her hands through her hair. Rachel wasn't aware that it was possible to feel jealous of hands, but it was happening to her right now. She wasn't normally a drinker, and even now she could feel the alcohol she'd had coursing through her body, making her head pound.

Quinn finally turned and looked at her, "You're a real jackass sometimes you know that?"

Rachel couldn't believe her ears, "_I'm _a jackass? Really Quinn? I don't see or hear from you in two years, and _I'm _a jackass?"

"It's a two way street Rachel. You don't get to be mad at me for not calling or trying to get in contact with you, when you told me not to."

"I never told you not to Quinn-"

"Yes you did! You stood there and told me that I had two choices to make, and if I couldn't give you everything you wanted then I was nothing to you. How was that not telling me not to?"

"I never said you were nothing to me Quinn. Ever. You were already everything to me. You know that."

Quinn laughed humorlessly, "Clearly I meant everything to you. That's why it was so easy for you to get rid of me."

"Easy? You thought it was easy for me? I-I cannot believe you. Do you have any idea what I went through when you walked out of my life, for the _second_ time I might add. I suppose I should be thankful this time. The first time you walked out, you came back as a complete _bitch. _Making yourself disappear from me, that was a little kinder of you. I never had to fear that a slushie was going to be in my face, or hear cruel names, or see crude pictures of myself. No. I just got to live in the memory of something that _could _have happened."

"Fuck you Rachel. I knew you hadn't forgiven me. I knew it. So what, you've just been waiting for the day you could throw all of that back in my face? As if I didn't know I was hurting you? I _hated _myself for that, and you know it. And you're not the only one that got hurt when you _forced _me to walk out."

They had moved closer to each other now. They were standing mere inches apart, their anger at everything that happened, that they had never discussed now bubbling up to the surface, and finally boiling over.

"I didn't _force _you to do anything. It was a _choice. _A choice that _you _made, and no one else. You didn't have to walk out of that door, you decided to. Just like you didn't have to become what you became when we started high school, but you did."

"You still can't do it can you?" Quinn's voice was lower now, almost at a whisper, "You can't admit that maybe you hurt me for once. You were always the good one between us, so no one would believe that Rachel Berry could hurt Quinn Fabray. Not that you would ever admit to it. You did this to us, not me. Maybe I could have handled things better, but I never would have made you make the choice I had to. Never Rachel."

"Maybe I just wanted you to actually choose me for once Quinn. Was that so much to ask?" Rachel was whispering too now, and involuntarily she reached both hands up, framing Quinn's cheeks. There were tears there, and she wiped them away with her thumbs, gently stroking Quinn's face. "You had already given me up once like I had meant nothing to you. I just wanted you to pick me over everything else, just once. I needed to know that I mattered to you Quinn, mattered enough for you to stick around."

"You're all that mattered to me Rach. How could you not know that?"

"You left me Quinn. The first time you left, I didn't think I would get over it. You had been my best friend, and then the next thing I knew, you were my arch nemesis," Quinn chuckled a little at the term. The blonde had taught it to her throughout countless super hero movies. "When we found our way back to each other, I thought everything would go back, but it became more. We were closer, and..." Rachel cleared her throat willing the tears to hold back, "When you walked out of my bedroom that day, it reaffirmed to me that I wasn't a permanent fixture for you. That I was just something that you kept around while you wanted it, and then when you were done, I could be left behind. I'm so sorry I made you make that decision, but I just needed to hear you pick me, for once, I needed to be good enough-"

Her words were cut off by Quinn's lips on hers. She pressed them together, and Rachel immediately reacted, holding onto Quinn's face even tighter, as Quinn's hands placed themselves on either side of her waste, holding tightly, and pulling her in closer.

As Rachel moved her arms to wrap around Quinn's shoulders, she threaded her fingers through blonde hair, and moaned when she felt Quinn bite at her lower lip. Quinn took the opportunity to bring their tongues together for the first time in what felt to Rachel like an eternity.

Everything exploded in her. She had never wanted Quinn more, and when the blonde's hands trailed down her spine, and gripped her ass, she knew she was done for. Quinn lifted her and placed her on the sink, so reminiscent of that last day.

She stood between her legs, and Rachel wrapped them around her waist.

"Quinn..." the words were barely a whisper against Quinn's lips, and then they were gone, moving along her jawline, and down her neck. She sucked on Rachel's pulse point, earning a loud groan from the smaller girl. Quinn continued her attack on Rachel's neck, licking, sucking, biting, every inch of is she could reach.

She moved down to her shoulder, and then leaned back, lifting off the shirt that Rachel had been wearing, and stopping and staring when she saw Rachel's lack of a bra, after staring a bit more she went back to her ministrations. She had Rachel writhing beneath her, and neither girl could have been happier. Two years of pent up frustrations were building between them, and when Quinn pulled Rachel's nipple lightly between her teeth, Rachel moaned so loudly she thought the whole bar would hear. Quinn pulled back a little bit, and moved to the side, licking up her sternum, and kissing Rachel once again. She loved and hated when Quinn stopped kissing her to move back to her breasts. She could barely think, barely breath. All she could do was feel Quinn, and everything she was doing. She didn't ever want Quinn to stop what she was doing, and from the feel of it, Quinn wasn't planning on stopping.

She had one hand toying, pinching, and plucking at her left nipple, while her mouth enveloped the other one. Rachel was reeling from the sensory overload, and when Quinn's mouth stopped, and started moving down her abdomen she was pretty sure she was done for.

Quinn stood back up to look at her, and brought both hands to her face to kiss her again. Slow, and languid, this kiss so differed from the others, and Rachel felt the change happen around them. She felt one of Quinn's hands sliding slowly down her chest, between her breasts, and down her stomach. She stopped for a very brief moment at the hem of Rachel's skirt, and then continued her way down. Rachel finally realized what was happening, and grabbed Quinn's hand, breaking their kiss, and leaning her forehead against Quinn's.

She barely managed to breathe out, "Quinn, wait."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Okay, little bit of a wait on this one, and in all honesty it's basically a filler, but with a little bit of story thrown in. The next few chapters will be the girl remembering when they met as kids, and their first round of friendship, and there will be some interaction even though it won't be physical.**

**All good things come in time, and there's still a lot to find out about the party/past/etc. Santana and Brittany will also be making an appearance soon as well! I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow, or Thursday!**

**Hope you guys enjoy this one!**

**Chapter Six**

"_Quinn, wait..."_

"Wake up Drunky!"

She was jerked awake by a mass of brunette hair and a thin body flying on top of her. She was pretty sure the body was going to suffocate her, if the pounding in her head didn't kill her before that happened.

"Where am I?"

"Oh honey. You're in bed, but not at home."

Nicole's voice was ringing in her ears, and she sat up, slowly, trying to get her bearings. She was in a small room, with white walls and was wrapped in black sheets, on a queen size bed. This was most definitely not her room, nor was it her apartment with Nicole.

"Where the fuck are we?"

"Evan's place. He was super wasted, and passed out in the bathroom, and I was pretty sure you were way too drunk to make it back home so we crashed here." Nicole finished, passing her a bottle of water. She took it gratefully, her mouth feeling like the Sahara.

"How did we even get back here? The last thing I remember is..."

She doesn't want to say it out loud. The last thing she remembers is almost having sex with Rachel in the bathroom, and she does not need Nicole knowing that.

"... Is going to the bathroom."

Nicole was smirking at her now, "Going to the bathroom with Rachel right?"

Quinn nodded at her, not trusting herself to speak. Nicole was looking at her strangely, and she had a feeling that her roommate knew more than she was letting on.

"Okay, well let me fill you in on what I know happened after that at least."

Nicole made herself comfortable on the bed, crawling up next to Quinn to rest her back against the headboard, as she crossed her legs, and put her finger to her chin as if pondering where to begin with the story.

"Alright, well, I noticed you guys walk out of the bathroom, and you both looked pretty upset. Well, you looked pissed, and Rachel looked kind of sad. You made a beeline for the bar, and I started walking up to you, and heard you order a double of something. I tried to ask what was wrong, but you said nothing at all, and told me to enjoy the party and not worry about you."

"I know you well enough at this point, that when you're moody it's best to just leave you moody, so I walked back over to Evan and Rachel was with the group now, also drinking again, and she seemed sort of distracted as well. That guy, Kurt I think, he pulled her away and tried talking to her, but she was having none of it either. You both kept staring at each other the entire night, like creepy weird ex's and every time she'd catch your eye, or would look away from you, you'd order another drink. Another double. That my love, is how you wound up, in my boyfriend's bed on his birthday, with me. You were starting to get bad drunk, I could see tears coming, and Evan was already pretty much done, so I forced the two of you out of the bar, and into a cab, and here we are."

Quinn stared at her for a moment, trying to wrap her head around what Nicole had said, and trying to force herself to remember what had happened in the bathroom with Rachel. She knew it was a fruitless task, but she was going to try anyways. Nicole was staying quiet, watching Quinn process a night she probably wouldn't ever remember.

Quinn groaned and put her head in her hands, bringing her knees up to her chest, "This is the worst."

Nicole hummed in agreement, "Yeah it wasn't that fun getting two drunks home either. I'll let you get up, and get dressed, all that good stuff, but the car ride home is going to be filled with explanations Q. You're not getting out of this one buddy."

Quinn sighed and nodded her head, she knew there was no point in arguing. If she had acted the way Nicole said she had, there was no denying anything between her and Rachel whether she wanted to or not. She got up slowly out of the bed, her head still pounding, and made her way to the bathroom. She washed her face, and then stepped out into the hallway, walking into the living area.

Evan and Nicole were both sitting on the couch smiling at each other, Evan looking a little sick still, much like she must have. When she approached the couple they both looked up at her, Evan cracking an even wider smile.

"Ah, the only girl at the party who got drunker than the birthday boy. How're you feeling Ms. Fabray?"

She laughed at his joke, and sat down on the smaller couch perpendicular from theirs, "I've seen better days Mr. Hall, but I think I will somehow make it through."

"Well I'm glad. Um, Kurt called this morning by the way. He, uh, has your cellphone."

"Kurt? Oh right! Kurt Hummel. Everything is really blurry, sorry. Why does he have my phone?"

"I think he said something about you dropping it when you were being dragged out of the bar, but he said you guys can go get it before you head back home. I'll give you their address."

"Their?"

"Oh yeah, him and his boyfriend Blaine live with Rachel. You met her last night right? I didn't skip on introducing you to one of my best friends did I?"

Quinn felt her mouth go dry again. There was no way she could face her after last night. Not that she had any idea what had transpired between the two after the bathroom, but from what she does know it wasn't good.

"I, um, it's fine, I mean Nic can get it the next time she comes to visit, I don't want to bother anyone."

"Quinn seriously? We'll get your phone today, quit being such a chickenshit."

Quinn was glaring at her. Nicole was always one to push, and now that she knew something about Rachel, she was going to push until she knocked Quinn over, and pinned her down, forcing the information out.

"Fine. We'll go get it."

"Good. I don't know why you try and argue with me, it's not becoming of you at all."

Quinn rolled her eyes, and walked back into the bedroom to find her shoes, and the rest of her things that apparently didn't include her cellphone. Once Nicole and Evan had finished their goodbyes, which only took about 45 minutes, the two girls were off on foot to the address Evan had given them. It wasn't too far, so they didn't mind the walk, and Nicole found this to be a fantastic opportunity to quiz Quinn on everything that was Rachel Berry.

"So how did you guys meet?"

"We met at school."

"High school?"

"No. Elementary."

"What grade?"

"Kindergarten. Seriously, Nic? Why does any of this matter?"

"I'm just inquisitive Q, there is nothing wrong with that."

"Whatever. Ask away then."

"Okay, so you guys were friends right? When did you stop talking? Because I've known you for two years, and you have never, not even once, mentioned anyone named Rachel."

"We were friends up until high school. Then we stopped talking, and then after awhile were friends again, and then we weren't again. It happens Nic. Please just drop this for now okay? We're almost there."

"Fine. I still want better details than that though."

They approached the small building, and were let up immediately by Kurt. As the ascended the few flights of stairs, Quinn started to panic a little bit. She was about to be at Rachel's house. After a night that apparently had not ended well. Who was to say she wasn't a complete bitch to Rachel and the brunette never wanted to speak to her again? She must have looked a little afraid, because Nicole put a hand on her shoulder, and Quinn looked up into concerned eyes.

"Hey, it's fine okay? I got your back Q."

Quinn smiled and thanked her. Finally they approached Rachel's door, and knocked.

"_Oh God, Quinn..."_

"Time to rise beautiful!"

Kurt's voice rang through her ears sharply as she buried herself further into her bed, covering her head with her pillow.

"Go. Away."

"Not on your life sweetheart. It's not gonna happen."

Kurt pulled back her blankets, and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. He rolled her over, and pulled the pillow from her face.

"I take it you're not feeling to well this morning?" When he only received a patented Rachel Berry death glare, he continued on, "Well I took the liberty of making coffee for you earlier, and there's a bottle of water and aspirin next to the bed."

"I really hate you sometimes."

Kurt laughed, "I know honey, I know. Clean yourself up, brush your teeth, and come into the living room to have a long discussion about what transpired last night between yourself and Quinn Fabray."

Rachel groaned loudly, and rolled back over, Kurt chuckled again, patted her back and left the room.

She wanted so badly to remember what she had been dreaming. It had felt so real, and more like a memory than anything else. The last thing she remembered from the night before was being in the bathroom with Quinn, and then it's as if it was a blank slate. Nothing at all. She groaned and rolled over again, cursing alcohol and vowing to never drink again.

She got out of bed, and stood up slowly, trying to ignore a feeling which she could only describe as a Thor bashing in her skull from the inside with his hammer. She went in to her bathroom, and stripped off her clothes, turning the shower on to scalding. She stepped in and let it run over her. The heat helped a little bit, and by the time she was out, she was feeling marginally better. She towel dried her hair, and brushed her teeth, then went back in her room to find clothes to throw on. After she settled on a black pair of shorts and a white tank top, she walked out into her kitchen to get some coffee.

Kurt and Blaine were sitting on the couch watching tv, and turned to watch her instead as she finally made her way out. She knew the two of them wanted to know what happened last night, but she wasn't even entirely sure herself. She couldn't remember hardly anything from the night before, and in all honesty, Kurt and Blaine probably knew more than she did.

After she had her coffee in hand, she walked back in to the living room and sat on the chair adjacent to her two best friends, crossing her legs, and staring them down.

"So, what is it you want to ask? I've been told there's no way I'm getting out of it, so let's hear it."

"Well, while I do have a host of questions, I think it would be best to let you know something first," Kurt started, "Quinn and her roommate are stopping by soon. Quinn dropped her cell phone, and I picked it up. Evan gave her the address since I guess they stayed there last night, and she is picking it up before they take the train back home."

Rachel stared at him for a moment, lost for words. She was going to see Quinn again. Twice in less than 24 hours, and apparently the last time had gone off with more than a few hitches. There was nothing that she could do about it however, and Quinn needed her phone, so all she could do was nod her head, and wave her hand at Kurt in a "get on with it" fashion.

"Yes. Okay, I want to know what happened between you and Quinn Fabray after senior year that stopped you two from talking. The last time I remember either of you speaking to each other was Noah Puckerman's post-graduation party."

Rachel sighed, "That was the second to last time I spoke to Quinn before last night. That night, we were...well, we were both really drunk, and we kissed in his backyard."

Kurt stared at her silently for a moment, "You kissed?"

"Yes."

"In Noah Puckerman's backyard?"

"Yes."

"With Quinn Fabray."

"Yes."

"...Oh my God." He groaned and put his head in his hands.

"There's more if you want to hear it. That's really the beginning of the end, though the story is much shorter than I'm sure you're hoping for."

"By all means, continue on, please."

"Well, we didn't speak for like, a month after that. She didn't call, didn't text. Nothing." Rachel took a deep breath, recalling how hurt she had been not hearing from Quinn in that time, "Then, out of the blue, about a week before we left for school, she texted me and asked to hang out. Naturally I said yes, and she came over the next morning..." Rachel trailed off and took a sip of her coffee.

"And..." Kurt was now waving his hand at her, anxious to hear the couple's story.

"And she came over and we nearly had sex in my bedroom okay? But she stopped it and we got into this huge fight, and she left. We didn't speak again until last night at the bar." The words burst out of her inexplicably. She couldn't stop them from coming, and once they were out, her audience sat with their jaws hanging open.

Kurt and Blaine were staring at her. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. Quinn had walked in and out of her life again, like it was nothing, and it hurt just as badly as it had the first two times.

"Oh, honey" Blaine was off the couch and next to her in an instant. He wrapped his arms around her, while she cried, and then Kurt was next to her too, holding her, and rubbing light circles on her back.

"She keeps doing this to me, and I keep letting her. Three times. Three times, she has walked into my life, just to walk right back out like I was nothing to her. I don't want to keep doing this anymore. I just want to forget her and move on, but I _can't _and it hurts so much."

"Shh, sweetie, it will be okay. It will all be okay." Blaine was running his hands through her hair, and that's when she heard it, a faint buzzing sound, indicating someone needed to be let up.

Kurt looked at her for a moment, Blaine still holding onto her tightly, and then stood up.

Kurt tried to be quiet, but he knew there was no use, and Rachel would hear no matter what, "Anderson/Berry/Hummel residence."

"Um, yeah, hey Kurt, it's Quinn. And my roommate. I'm here for my phone."

The blonde's voice rang through her ears, and it made her want to cry even harder. Wait, oh God. She'd been crying for the better part of ten minutes.

"I cannot let her see me like this."

"Oh God, okay, hurry, go in your room, and wash your face, we'll stall them, or something." Blaine was rushing her off the chair, and into the hallway.

"You have to stall them Kurt, Rachel's trying to make it look like she hasn't been crying."

"Sta-What? How am I supposed to stall them?"

"I don't know, um, tell them the elevator is broke or something, and they have to take the stairs. Three flights should be enough time."

"Dear Lord, okay...Hey, Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"I'm letting you up, but just so you know, you might not want to take the elevator it's kind of...untrustworthy" He said the word slowly, as if unsure it would work, but a few seconds later the blonde was agreeing, and he let the two women in.

Rachel was in the bathroom, frantically scrubbing her face, and trying to make it seem as if she'd woken up, fresh from the morning, and been perfectly fine. Her eyes were no longer red, and they didn't look very puffy, so she figured it was a mission accomplished. She brushed her teeth quickly once more, and thought about changing but decided it would be a waste of time.

She walked back out of her room, and looked at Kurt, "Okay?"

"Never looked better." He smiled at her.

She gave him a small smile back, "Okay. Good. I want to open the door when she comes in."

"Ar-Are you sure Rach? I mean, you don't have to." Blaine was looking at her sympethetically.

"I want to Blaine. I need to do this. If it's the last time I see her again, I just, I want it to be sober."

He nodded his head at her, "Okay then. Whatever you say Ms. Berry."

That's when she heard the faint knocking on the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Okay, sorry for the longer wait on this one! Work is getting hectic on me, but I hope you guys like this one, and I can't wait to hear your feedback! **

**There's a little of everyone in this chapter, and we're going to be getting into the Faberry backstory reallyyy soon, so I hope you guys enjoy that too!**

Chapter 7

"Hello Quinn."

As soon as Rachel opened the door Quinn felt her breath get caught in her throat and her heart actually stopped beating for a few seconds in her chest. She knew that the other girl must have only woken up shortly before they had arrived at the apartment. This version of Rachel, Quinn always called it Early Morning Rachel, was her absolute favorite. Her long, dark hair was piled in a messy bun on top of her head, and as Quinn's eyes raked down her petite frame, she couldn't help but smile. Early Morning Rachel never wore clothes that covered her enough. She always wore a tank top that somehow managed to be a little too short even for someone with such a short stature. The sliver of tan skin that was exposed just above her shorts was something Quinn actually had had to practice not looking at during their time in high school. The shorts were always indecently short, showing off tan, toned legs that Quinn could not help but recall having wrapped around her waist tightly. There was never any make up on her face this early, and Quinn loved it. Rachel was so naturally stunning that she had, on many occasions, made Quinn feel like her breath was actually being torn from her. To her, this time of day, Rachel was never more natural, never more relaxed, and never more beautiful. She was perfect.

Quinn took a deep breath and reminded herself, once again, to look at Rachel's eyes, and not roam across her body, however perfect it may be.

"Hey Rach."

As soon as Quinn said the words, her eyes met Rachel's, and locked on. She doesn't know how long she stood there, just staring at the girl, but it wasn't long enough. The others were standing awkwardly on either side of the door. Nicole was slightly behind Quinn, and off to her side, looking between the two girls expectantly. Behind Rachel, Quinn could see Kurt and Blaine rising off of a couch and standing behind the smaller girl, also looking at the pair staring each other down in the doorway.

"Um, so can we come inside or something? Or are you guys just going to stand here staring at each other for the rest of the day?" Nicole was still looking back and forth between the two of them, eying them warily.

Rachel jumped at her voice, "Oh my goodness! Of course. I am so sorry. I assure you I am not normally so rude as to just have guests standing outside my door without inviting them inside," Rachel stepped to the side, and allowed the two of them to entire the small apartment. "Welcome to our home."

Nicole pushed past Quinn, ready to get inside, and let Quinn follow in after Rachel. As Quinn walked inside she took note of her surroundings. It wasn't a large apartment, though she didn't expect it to be, really. The walls were all white, with pictures everywhere, a small kitchen was to her left as she walked through a short hallway, with a bar separating it from the living area. There was a couch and loveseat sitting perpendicular with each other, and a black coffee table with some magazines on it. There was a rather large TV across from them, and Quinn knew if she opened the cabinets she would find Rachel's insane DVD collection. Quinn remembered the first time she saw just how many DVD's Rachel had, and recalling the look on her face, she laughed lightly to herself.

Rachel was nudging her side lightly as they walked in to the living area, "Hey what's so funny?" She said it quietly, and meant only for the two.

"I was thinking about the first time I came over to your house in high school and saw all of your movies."

Rachel chuckled, "Yes, I would say shock was a good first reaction, and then continual disbelief after I opened the third cabinet full of them. What was it you said?"

"You live in a blockbuster Rachel." They said it in unison and then turned away from each other, both blushing.

Kurt had left to go get Quinn's phone from his and Blaine's room, and came back to see the two girls blushing, and Blaine and Nicole chatting in the kitchen.

"Here you go Quinn. I have to say after last night however, that you're lucky your phone is all you dropped. You and Rachel were both completely trashed."

Quinn turned an even darker shade of red at the mention of the previous night, "Yeah, well, what can I say? When I party, I party hard."

"You never party."

Leave it to Nicole to make her even more uncomfortable, "Yeah well, that's what they say, isn't it?" Now that Quinn had her phone, she wanted to get out of that apartment as fast as possible.

"Listen, it was great catching up with you guys, but I have a really big exam coming up, and I need to study, and I already missed more time for it than I wanted because of someone's incessant need to make me be social. It was really great seeing all of you. We'll have to catch up again?"

"I've already added all of our numbers in your phone." Kurt responded immediately.

As the others in the room stared at him, gaping, he merely shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't go through your phone or anything, but there was no lock on it, and don't think for a second that you are getting away from us again Quinn Fabray." He was fixing her with a very pointed stare that she was sure meant he was actually trying to say "Don't think you're getting away from Rachel again without me strangling you with some sort of very expensive scarf."

"Wouldn't dream on it Kurt."

The two of them said goodbye, and promised to come back to the city soon to visit. Nicole and Blaine had apparently struck up a friendship talking about football the night before, and made fast friends with each other. As they were going down the stairs, Quinn heard footsteps behind her, and then a very familiar voice.

"Quinn, wait!"

She turned around, and saw a very tiny person running towards her down the stairs, and before she could even think to respond had an armful of Rachel Berry, and her face was buried in thick, brown hair.

She heard Nicole clear her throat and mumble something about waiting downstairs for her.

"I just wanted to tell you bye again. I didn't get to hug you before." Rachel whispered the words in her ear, and Quinn felt her body flame when she felt the brunette's breath tickle her ear.

"I've missed your hugs Rach." Quinn was whispering too.

She was still holding Rachel in her arms, unwilling to let the girl go again. It hadn't been until that very sober moment that she realized how much she missed the girl. There wasn't a single thing about her that Quinn hadn't missed. All of the different ways that she smiled, how she rambled when she got nervous, when she went on rants about the things that were important to her. She missed the way her brow furrowed when she was concentrating on something, and most of all Quinn realized, she missed this. When Rachel would come up and hug Quinn for no reason, she would just wrap those strong arms around Quinn's waist and hold tight, and Quinn never felt safer.

At some point the two of them had shifted, Quinn still holding tightly onto Rachel, and vice versa, but Quinn had managed to back herself into the wall, and now had her face pressed against Rachel's neck and shoulder. She inhaled deeply, relishing the fact that Rachel still smelled like coconut after all this time.

"I've missed _you _Quinn," She was running her fingers through Quinn's hair, making it hard for her to concentrate on the words that she was saying, "Promise me you'll come back?"

"Mmm."

"Quinn are you listening?"

"Mhm."

"Then what did I say?"

"...What?"

She pulled back slightly from her, to look at her face, Rachel was grinning at her mischievously, and then leaned in, with her lips centimeters from Quinn's and whispered, "I asked if you were listening to me Quinn?"

She gulped, "Um, yes?"

The brunette brushed her lips across Quinn's and the blonde was pretty sure she was about to take her there in the stairwell if she did it again, "Then what did I say Quinn?"

"Could you possibly repeat the question?"

"Promise me you'll come back?"

"I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

With that, Rachel pressed her lips to Quinn's and the blonde felt all of the blood rush from her head, and the breath leave her lungs. She had to stop it. She needed to stop it. This was only going to hurt them, and she wasn't gay. She wanted to stop it, and make Rachel see it wouldn't work. That they couldn't do this, it was wrong, but when Rachel took her top lip between her own, she couldn't think anymore, all she could do was feel.

She flipped them around, and moved her hands, and grabbed the backs of Rachel's thighs, lifting her off the ground, as the smaller girl's legs wrapped around her waist. She had never been more confused in her life, and then Rachel's tongue was in her mouth, dueling with her own, and once again all she could do was feel. She felt her heart pounding against her chest, she could only assume it was to get closer to Rachel's.

There was so much emotion put into the kiss from both of them, as if they were both trying to tell the other what they wanted and needed. She didn't even realize the tears streaming down both of their faces, and the way Rachel's hands were holding her face, anchoring her, afraid that Quinn would pull away if she let go of her.

When she heard Rachel moan, that's when she pulled back, whispering against the other girl, "Rach..."

"Quinn, please. Please don't do this to me again. I can't take it this time." She was still holding either side of Quinn's face with her hands, and pressed their foreheads together.

Quinn set Rachel down, but kept her arms wrapped tightly around her, "I-I don't know what I'm doing Rachel. I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"You."

"You don't have anything to be afraid of Quinn," She pulled back from her at that point, and looked into her eyes, wiping the tears away from her cheeks, "How about this? We'll plan it all out, and the next time you come and see me, we'll talk about everything? Is that good?"

Quinn nodded her head, and leaned back down to press a chaste kiss to her lips, and then her nose, and then her forehead, "I really have missed you so much Rachel."

"I know Quinn. I've missed you."

"I better get out there. Nicole gets impatient."

"I like her. She seems good for you."

"She is. Just don't tell her I ever said that."

Rachel laughed, and finally pulled out of Quinn's arms. The blonde felt the loss immediately, and sighed.

"I'll text you okay?"

"Okay.

"Goodbye Quinn."

"Goodbye Rachel."

Quinn turned and walked down the stairs, and finally met Nicole at the front of the building.

"Good Lord, did you have sex with her in the stairwell?"

"Shut up Nicole."

"No seriously, we are so discussing this when we get home, because I've been trying to set you up with girls and guys for two years, and you've given me that heterosexual speech for both of those years, and now what? This girl is here, and she's clearly important, and for God's sake Quinn. We've shared nearly everything with each other, did you really think you couldn't trust me with this?"

Nicole was looking at her with a serious, and hurt expression, and Quinn suddenly felt guilty for not sharing with her friend. She and Nicole really had opened up to each other quite a bit. Rachel and Santana were the only two people in the world that Quinn had ever shared as much with as she had with Nicole. They'd talked about Beth, and Puck, and her senior year, and her parents, and Lucy, and every thing in between, but never Rachel.

She pulled Nicole into a tight hug, and felt her friend's indignation deflate slightly, "It hurt too much Nic. It just-" the words tore out of her brokenly, as the tears started flowing again.

It was a testament to their friendship that Nicole didn't say anything, just held onto her and let her cry on the sidewalk, running her fingers through her hair, and telling her that it would be okay.

For now Quinn just needed to believe that.

* * *

><p>Rachel came back up to her apartment, and found Kurt and Blaine anxiously awaiting her return. As soon as she saw the two of them, she felt the tears burn her cheeks, and before she could sink to the floor in tears, her friends had their arms wrapped around her, and were half carrying her to the couch. She knew they'd want to know what had happened, but she couldn't talk about it, and so they just soothed her as the sobs wracked her body.<p>

"I just don't want to hurt anymore."

Throughout all of her crying, she had exhausted herself, and woke up a few hours later, with a blanket covering her, and a note saying the other two had gone out for dinner, and to call if she wanted anything. She didn't feel like eating, and didn't want to be home, and that's when she was reminded of her meeting with Alice. She was getting another part of the story!

She raced into her room to change into warmer clothing, and quickly scribbled a note to Kurt and Blaine explaining she was going out for a walk and would be home soon. She dashed out of her apartment, and walked quickly to the park.

When she finally got there, she made her way over to the bench where she had met the older woman, and was excited to see that she was already there.

"Well, well. Fancy meeting you here."

Alice smiled up at her, "Why yes, it is quite the pleasant surprise. How have you been my dear?"

"Honestly?"

"Always dear. Always."

"Not so great Alice."

"Well, since we're starting off today with your story, I suppose you can tell me why you haven't been so great dear."

Rachel thought for a moment, "For that Alice, I think I would need to start at the very beginning."

Alice smiled softly at her as she sat down on the bench, "I assure you dear, I have nothing but time."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Okay, I really hope you guys like this chapter, it's based mostly in the past, and through Rachel's memories of those events. I might do one that mirrors this, just with Quinn's views on the same (maybe different) memories. I promise to try, and not keep them apart much longer, but I also can't make any promises on that front.**

Chapter Eight

_First Day of Kindergarten_

_Rachel Berry walked hand in hand with her fathers to her very first day of kindergarten. She was a bright, bubbly child, and had a large smile spreading across her face. She was wearing her favorite pink dress with her hair up in a pony tail, held back with a pink ribbon. Her small shoes, also pink, filled out the rest of her favorite outfit. She had spent hours the night before with her dad and daddy trying to figure out the perfect one for her first day of school._

_As she walked towards her classroom, pink backpack bouncing on her shoulders, she couldn't help but be completely consumed with excitement over making new friends, and meeting new people. She couldn't wait to learn new things from her teachers, and make her dads proud of her. _

_As they walked into the tiny classroom, she immediately let go of her dads hands, and ran to the nearest table. There was a little girl sitting there, with dark blonde hair, and glasses, her name tag on the table read "Lucy"_

"_Hi, I'm Rachel Berry," She smiled at the girl, and stuck out her hand. "What's your name?"_

_The other little girl was looking at her with a funny kind of stare that she couldn't quite place, and then finally reached out her hand, and shook Rachel's, "I'm Lucy. Lucy Fabray."_

"_It's nice to meet you Lucy. I really like your glasses. They're neat."_

_The other girl blushed lightly at the compliment, "Thank you. I really like your ribbon. It's pretty." she said quietly._

_Rachel beamed at her, "Thank you, it's my favorite one. It took me and my daddies a really long time to pick out the perfect one, but I knew it was just right."_

_Lucy was staring at her funny again, "Your daddies? You have two?"_

"_Oh, yes," Rachel turned in her seat to look for her dads, and when she found them, pointed them out to Lucy, "That's my dad, Hiram, and my daddy, Leroy."_

"_But what about your mommy?"_

"_I don't have a mommy."_

"_Oh. Okay. Do you want to be friends?"_

_Rachel's smile got impossibly wider, "Of course I do! We're going to best friends I think."_

_Lucy smiled back shyly, "Yeah I think so to."_

"_Do you wanna color with me?"_

"_Sure!"_

* * *

><p><em>Third Grade<em>

"_Rach! You're going to quick, slow down for a second!"_

_Rachel slowed her pedaling, letting her best friend catch up to her. Sometimes she let her excitement get the best of her, and forgot others were around. Other people got mad about that, but never Lucy. They were best friends, and they loved each other. Ever since kindergarten her dads had made sure that Lucy and Rachel were in the same classes. They knew the tantrum that could possibly follow from not having the two girls together was well worth the hassle of going through the school to fix the classes._

_When her friend finally caught up, she reminded herself to keep an even pace, "I'm sorry Luce, I'm just really excited to show you what I found for us."_

"_It's okay Rach, I know how you get sometimes."_

_They continued pedaling until they came to the small park they often played at, "Rachel. This is just the park. We come here all the time, what's so special?"_

"_You'll see, c'mon."_

_She grabbed Lucy's hand and ran for the swings, normally it was their favorite part of the park, but today Rachel ran right past, and towards the woods._

"_Rach I don't wanna go in there. It looks scary."_

"_It's not, I promise. You'll see."_

_She pulled her friends hand, and tugged her along, they finally made their way into a small clearing, and finally Lucy understood why her best friend had been so excited. _

"_Oh my gosh Rach. It's beautiful."_

_The clearing wasn't very open, there were trees overgrown everywhere, like a roof over their heads, but where the trees missed spots, sunlight was streaming down on them in rays, and they were engulfed in soft light._

"_See, I told you it was going to be good. We can come here, and no one can bother us. It's just our spot. We can play make believe, or read, or just talk."_

"_It's perfect Rach." Lucy had tears on her cheeks, and Rachel lifted her tiny hand to stop them. She knew that Lucy was thinking of her own daddy, and how he wouldn't let them be friends when Lucy was home. He didn't like Rachel's daddies. Lucy's mommy made sure that they were friends at school however, and she often let her come over to Rachel's house. She always said it was their little secret._

"_Come over here look," Rachel pulled Lucy's hand over to a big tree, and showed her what she had made on it. _

_Carved in her little, nine year old, handwriting were the words "Rachel Barbra Berry + Lucy Quinn Fabray, Best Friends"_

_The tears were still in Lucy's eyes, and she turned to the side and wrapped her best friend in a tight hug, "We're gonna be friends forever, right Rach?"_

"_Yeah Luce. Forever."_

* * *

><p><em>Seventh Grade<em>

"_I just don't understand this stuff Rachel. It's stupid."_

"_It is not stupid Lucy. It's math. You are going to need this material for the rest of your life. No matter what profession you decide to pursue after your years in high school and college, math is going to be an absolute necessity."_

"_I hate it when you're right." Lucy grumbled, and opened her math book again. She never had any trouble with subjects in school, except for math, but luckily Rachel was an expert._

"_At least you can admit defeat admirably."_

_They laid down on Rachel's bed side by side and began studying again. Rachel was concentrating on a problem, when her friend turned her head to the side and looked at her._

"_Rach... Can I ask you something?"_

"_Of course you can."_

"_Do you think I'm-I'm pretty?"_

_Rachel blinked, "What?"_

_Lucy's face turned scarlet, "Never mind it's a stupid question."_

"_Wait, no it is not. Of course I think you're pretty. Why wouldn't I?"_

_Lucy mumbled something under her breath, and Rachel couldn't understand her._

"_Why wouldn't I Lucy?"_

"_Because _I _don't think I'm pretty."_

_Rachel couldn't believe her ears. Her best friend was the most beautiful person she knew, inside and out. Rachel sat up on her bed, and pulled her friend up with her. Lucy was turned to face her, but had her head tilted down looking away. It had been a really long time since Rachel had seen her cry, she thought it might have been years, but there were tears in her eyes now. Rachel cupped her friends face with her hands, and made her look into her eyes._

"_You, Lucy Quinn Fabray, are the prettiest girl that I have ever met. There has never been a prettier girl in this whole world, and there never will be."_

"_Yeah, but you're my friend. You're _supposed _to say those things."_

"_It doesn't mean I don't believe them."_

"_Would you still love me if I changed?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I-I asked my daddy if he would let me fix my nose, an-and he said yes."_

_Rachel looked at her friend, slightly shocked. She couldn't believe that Mr. Fabray would let his 13 year old daughter get a nose job, but if it was what Lucy wanted then Rachel would have to support her friend._

"_I will _always _love you Lucy. Nothing could ever change that."_

"_I love you too Rachel."_

_Then Rachel, on impulse and unable to stop herself, leaned in, and pressed a small kiss to Lucy's lips._

* * *

><p><em>Tenth Grade<em>

"_Out of the way Man Hands!"_

_Quinn, and Santana shoved past her in the halls. _Quinn._ That was how she knew her friend now. Lucy was gone, and Quinn took over. Where Lucy was sweet, kind, and loving, now there was Quinn, who was cruel, cold, and calculating. Rachel hated herself for still loving the girl, but she had to believe that Lucy was in there somewhere._

_The first time she got hit with a slushie, she stood completely frozen in the hallway. She couldn't move, or process what had happened. She remembered wiping the ice away from her eyes to see football players and cheerios laughing at her. Her eyes locked with Quinn's, and for a split second she saw all of the cruel mirth leave the cheerleader's face. She stared back at her former friend, and remembered the day that changed everything._

"_I want you to start calling me Quinn now, okay Rachel?"_

"_But why?"_

"_Because, I'm different now, so I need a different name. No one will know that fat, ugly Lucy, is now popular, beautiful Quinn. That's how it has to be."_

"_But that's crazy Luce-"_

"_It's Quinn! God Rachel, can't you just let me do this? I want to change, and I'm going to! I'm going to be a cheerio this year, and I'll finally be popular. Can't you just be happy for me?"_

"_No I can't! I can't be happy for you, because I'm losing my best friend, and you don't even seem to care!"_

"_Quinn" was standing at Rachel's doorway and had her back to the other girl, as her hand turned the door knob, Rachel heard very quietly, "Maybe I don't care."_

_Now there was just Quinn and she didn't care about Rachel or ten years of having been best friends, and spending time in the clearing, and reading and talking. None of it mattered to this new person, to Quinn. _

_Quinn was the popular cheerleader, and now she was beautiful, and graceful, and athletic. Everything that little Lucy had wanted to be. She just had to give up her best friend to get it all._

_Who needed a best friend when you were popular right? Quinn had the perfect quarterback boyfriend, and all of her perfect and beautiful friends, she didn't need Rachel anymore. It hurt more than she cared to admit, but she had to move on. She had glee now, and she needed to work on becoming the next huge Broadway starlet._

* * *

><p>"<em>What do you mean, you're joining glee club?"<em>

"_It isn't as if you left me much of a choice Treasure Trail, you won't stay away from my boyfriend, so now I have to keep an eye on you."_

_They were standing in the empty bathroom, arguing. Again. They seemed to be doing this quite a bit lately. Quinn's boyfriend Finn had joined glee, and even though Rachel would never tell Quinn in a million years (mostly out of fear for her own safety) she and Finn had kissed._

"_Please Quinn. You can use any excuse you want," She stepped in closer to her former best friend, and current enemy, "But you and I both know, _Lucy, _just how much you love to sing."_

_She smirked at the shocked look on Quinn's face. Rachel hadn't called her Lucy in years, and the name probably terrified Quinn more than she would ever care to admit._

"_Shut up Rachel. You don't know anything about me, don't pretend like you do. Leave. My. Boyfriend. Alone." She shoved past the smaller girl, and straight out of the bathroom._

_Rachel would take this one as a success. She had cracked a piece of the facade that Quinn had built for herself. Maybe Lucy really was still in there somewhere._

* * *

><p><em>Quinn was pregnant. She was a sophomore in high school, and she was going to have a baby. Rachel was terrified for her. Jacob Ben Israel threatened to post a story about Quinn and so Rachel did what he asked to keep it from happening. She told herself that it was for the club, and for Finn, but she knew better. Quinn was the only person she cared about protecting in all of this. No one else mattered to her nearly as much.<em>

_When Sue Sylvester forced the story out of Jacob and then made him print it, that's when Rachel decided she needed to show Quinn she would be there for her. So she put together a song, and choreography, and made sure that she would be next to Quinn during, so that she could sing to Quinn without the rest of the club knowing. She chose 'Keep Holding On' so that Quinn knew she would always be there for her. No matter what the cost._

_When the song was over, everyone filed out of the auditorium. Rachel had left as well, but remembered her bag had been left backstage and went to go and get it. When she walked into the large auditorium she saw Quinn, seated in the center of the stage, staring out into nothing, with her hands on her stomach._

_She couldn't have stopped herself if she wanted to. She walked up behind the blonde, and sat down next to her. Quinn didn't move, or look over. She didn't need to. They always knew when the other was around. She just moved her hand from her stomach, and laid it, palm up, on top of Rachel's bare thigh. She felt sparks shoot through her entire body at the touch, but reached out her hand, and laced her fingers with Quinn's. As soon as they were completely intertwined, she heard a soft sigh from the other girl, and suddenly she had shifted, and Quinn's head was laying on her shoulder. Rachel turned and pressed her lips softly to Quinn's head, then sang at nearly a whisper into Quinn's hair._

"_When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need,"_

"_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse"_

"_And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something that you can't replace"_

"_When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?"_

"_Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try, to fix you"_

"_Quinn are you in here?" The two girls jumped at sound of Finn's voice booming throughout the auditorium. Quinn moved away from her quickly, and when she stood up and looked at her she saw the tears in her eyes, and knew that they mirrored her own._

* * *

><p>"That's the story of the first time I lost Quinn." Rachel had tears in her eyes by the time she was done. Reliving those years, the ones with Lucy, and the first years of Quinn, were still very painful for her, and she tried not to think about them as much as she could.<p>

"It sounds like you both really loved each other dear."

"Yeah, not enough apparently. Not back then at least."

"So this is the girl, hm? The one that made you have the bad day?"

"Yeah Alice, she's the one."

"So she's still in your life?"

"She is now. It-There's still a lot to the story Alice."

"Well, you gave me the beginning of yours today dear, so how about I give you some more of mine?"

"That sounds wonderful Alice. I've been anxiously anticipating how Tom managed to get you to finally agree to a date with him."

"Ah yes, 'The Big Finale' as Tom always referred to it. Well, I was sitting at home one night, I believe it was a Friday night actually, but like I said I was home, and I was reading a book. My mother and father were downstairs, doing who knows what, and I believed it was going to be a quiet night. Little did I know, there was no such thing when you were being courted by Tom Spencer."

"At around 6 pm, we heard the doorbell ring. Now, back then, we assumed something terrible had happened because no good news was going to have someone at our home at that hour, so my father went to the door quickly, and opened it as I was halfway down the stairs."

"When he opened the door, I didn't see anyone standing there, but he had a very confused, and slightly entertained look on his face. When I finally reached the door, there was Tom Spencer, and four other boys. Dressed to the nine's as a barbershop quartet."

Rachel started laughing, "He was not!"

"Oh he was dear, believe me. I don't know how he'd done it, but he even had an organ sitting in our yard. They started playing music, and Tom started singing a song, he had clearly written himself, about how beautiful I was, and how he wanted so badly for me to just go on one date with him. When he was finally done, a few of our neighbors were outside, and my mother had joined my father and I on our front porch."

"When he finished he said to me 'Alice Cicero, you are the most stunning girl in this whole world, and I would be the happiest young man on this earth, if you would agree to even just one date with me.' I was still astonished that this boy was in my yard singing to me."

"What did you say Alice?" Rachel asked, though she already knew the answer.

"Well of course, there was no way at all I could say no to him. Not after that."

"No I don't suppose I would have been able to resist either. He sounds extremely charming."

"Oh he was. He was the most charming devil there was."

Rachel leaned over and rested her head on Alice's shoulder, and whispered to her, "Do you miss him Alice?"

She looked up slightly, and saw Alice's sad smile, "Every day my dear. Every day. Which is why you and Quinn need to sort out all of your mess. I don't want you missing her too."

"I already do. What if it's too late Alice?"

"Oh it is never to late my dear. Never."

**Song used- "Fix You" by Coldplay**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- So sorry this took so long, work is trying to take over my entire life, but I hope this lives up to whatever you guys were expecting. I thought about not ending this chapter where I did, but I love keeping you guys in suspense. I know I said Brittany and Santana would be showing up soon, but I'm not sure quite when. I want it to flow with the story, and not be forced, but hopefully this moves us forward a bit more in the story!**

Chapter 9

"So are you ever going to explain to me what exactly happened last week?"

"Are you ever going to let it go?"

"Is that a serious question?"

Quinn sighed, she had hoped that Nicole would drop the subject, but clearly that was not meant to be, and she had asked for some time, which her friend had granted easily, but she was getting impatient. Quinn knew she couldn't keep dodging the subject of Rachel for long. There was never going to be a good time to tell someone you weren't good enough for the person you wanted, so she supposed getting it over with now would just have to do.

The two of them were sitting on opposite ends of their couch, and both adjusted so their backs were leaning against the arms of the couch, and they could face each other.

"Fine. Where do you want me to start? It's kind of a really long story."

"You've got me all night babe, start from the beginning."

Quinn took a deep breath, and thought back to her beginnings with Rachel. In reality she should start with kindergarten, the very first day of school, and making Rachel her very first friend, her very first best friend. Nicole wanted the whole story, and that was the beginning, but for Quinn, she was going to start with the moment she was sure she fell in love with a tiny singer with a beautiful voice.

* * *

><p><em>First Grade<em>

"_Rach, I don't wanna do this."_

"_Why not?"_

_Her friend had her standing at the edge of the pool, the little brunette had already jumped in, in perfect cannonball form, but Lucy was still on the edge, afraid of jumping._

"_I just don't..."_

_Rachel swam closer to her, and peered up at her best friend, "Are you scared?"_

_Lucy shuffled her feet, and looked away, "No..."she said it in barely a whisper._

_Rachel pulled herself out of the water, clambering up the side of the pool with some difficulty, and took her friend's hand._

"_What if we jump together Luce? Will that make it better?"_

_Lucy smiled over at her, and nodded emphatically._

"_Okay, on the count of three then, ready? One, two, three!" _

_On the third count Rachel squeezed her hand and the two girls jumped simultaneously into the cold water. When they popped back up, they were laughing and splashing each other without a care. Finally Lucy swam right up next to her best friend to whisper in her ear._

"_Will you always jump with me Rach?"_

"_Always."_

* * *

><p><em>Fifth Grade<em>

"_Raaach, I don't wanna watch that movie again."_

"_Lucy Quinn Fabray, I will have you know that Funny Girl is one of the most beloved musicals of all time, and if you expect me to ever be on Broadway I need to make sure I am constantly surrounded by the greatest singers of all time, hence why we are watching Funny Girl, starring Barbra Streisand."_

"_That's crazy Rachel, you're going to be on Broadway no matter what we watch tonight."_

_Rachel stopped what she was doing and looked at her friend, "You really believe I'll be on Broadway?"_

"_Well duh. Have you ever heard yourself sing Rachel? You're the best singer I know. You're _my _favorite singer, and if anyone's going to be on Broadway one day, it's you."_

_Before she knew it, she was engulfed by small, but strong arms, and had a face full of dark chocolate colored hair. She had to stop herself from leaning into Rachel's neck and inhaling her scent. Rachel always smelled really good, like flowers, and rain, and summer time. Rachel was Lucy's favorite scent. The smaller girl had wound up in her lap somewhere in the hug, and was still holding tightly to her neck._

"_Maybe we can watch Spiderman tonight."_

_When Rachel pulled back to look at her, she could see her reflection in those ever expressive, dark brown eyes. She had a huge smile spreading across her face. _

_It would soon be known to her as her Rachel Smile._

* * *

><p><em>Seventh Grade<em>

_Her entire body was buzzing. She didn't know that something like that could happen. Rachel had just kissed her. On the lips. As quickly as it was there it was gone. Rachel Berry would forever be her first kiss. She thought that fit really well. Rachel had been so many firsts for her. Her first friend, her first _best _friend, the first person to tell her she was pretty, the first person she ever confided in. Rachel had kissed her. She had had dreams of that happening of course, but never thought it would._

_Her daddy would be so mad at her. He was letting her change, and here she was, sinning. She tried to stop how she felt about Rachel. She spent every Sunday praying as hard as possible that those feelings that had always been there would somehow go away. She loved Rachel, but she also _loved _Rachel and __she knew it was bad. If she could get her to kiss her again though, that would be magical. If even for just a little bit longer, and maybe she could make all of the feelings go away if she just got to kiss her again._

"_What did you do that for Rach?" she whispered._

"_So you would know that someone thinks you are beautiful. Right now, I think you are beautiful. You don't have to change Lucy. Not for anyone." Rachel whispered back._

_Lucy stared into her friend's eyes. She was looking for any sign that she was lying to her, that she was just saying it to make her feel better, but as always Rachel was looking into her with absolute truth. Rachel never lied to her, not ever. No matter what they were completely honest with each other. They had pinky promised on it as children. She couldn't tell Rachel she loved her, thought she was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, but she couldn't lie to her either. She didn't know what to do at all in this moment._

_So she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Rachel's for a second time._

* * *

><p><em>Tenth Grade<em>

_She was pregnant. She had taken five tests, all of them coming back and taunting her with that little pink plus sign confirming the end of her life. She was sitting on the floor of her bathroom, back to the bathtub and staring at the opposite wall. She tried to find the exact moment that she had become truly unhappy. Of course she knew the answer, and she didn't need to think very hard about it. She thought about it every single day._

* * *

><p><em>She remembered it like it was yesterday, standing in the middle of Rachel's room, yelling at her, and for the first time she could ever remember, Rachel was yelling. Yelling back at her, because she was breaking her own heart, and Rachel's in the process. Her friend couldn't understand why she needed to be different. Lucy might have been in love with Rachel, but Quinn didn't have to be. Quinn couldn't be gay. She was going to fall in love with the star quarterback, and be head cheerio, and finally get everything she wanted. Rachel didn't understand, and Quinn certainly couldn't explain it to her. She had never admitted to loving the smaller girl, and she wasn't going to do it now. It was a sin, and she wasn't gay, and so the feelings were all pushed aside, because they didn't matter.<em>

_The first day of high school changed that. She and Rachel hadn't spoken all summer, after their fight, and Quinn had spent most of it training for Cheerios and getting ready for her new life. She thought she was ready, she strolled into the school in her brand new Cheerios uniform, ready to rule, and then she got stopped dead in her tracks._

_Rachel had been standing at her locker, reaching up on her tip toes to place something inside, of course she would get a top locker, Quinn's mind was reeling. Rachel was wearing one of her sweater's of course, but over the summer it appeared her skirts had changed dramatically. Rachel normally wore them longer, and this one she had on was barely reaching mid thigh. It was green plaid, and because of Rachel's inability to reach whatever it was she was looking for in her locker, it appeared even shorter, and her sweater had risen to expose a part of her flat and toned stomach._

_It felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Of course she had seen Rachel's body before, the two girls swam in Rachel's pool all the time, but the summer apart had had the opposite effect Quinn __wanted. Instead of her feelings going away, or at least dying down a little, she now knew they had just been lying dormant waiting for the moment that she saw that beautiful girl again so they could explode out of her stronger than they ever had. She had immediately ducked into a bathroom, and had avoided any contact with Rachel for the rest of the day._

_That night would become the first night she touched herself thinking of Rachel Berry._

* * *

><p><em>Now she was pregnant, alone, and sitting on her cold bathroom floor. She wanted to pick up her phone and call Rachel. She knew the other girl would rush over and hold her and tell her everything would be okay, even after all of this time, and all that Quinn had done. She had been cruel to Rachel when she realized her feelings wouldn't leave. She was angry at her for making her feel that way, and wanted to hurt her like Quinn had been hurting. She hated herself every day for it, and it didn't help her feelings at all. She still laid in bed at night thinking of Rachel, and how her skirts twirled in glee, or how when she sang it sent flames throughout Quinn's entire body, how great her legs and ass looked whenever she danced around the choir room.<em>

_She hated her weakness as she picked her phone up off of the floor next to her and dialed. When the other line picked up she croaked out, "I need your help."_

_Ten minutes later there was knocking on her door, and a frantic little brunette was standing in the doorway of her bathroom, where she was still seated on the floor. At the sight of Rachel standing there Quinn broke down, she couldn't want Rachel like this, need her so much._

_Rachel didn't need to speak, she just leaned down next to her, and took her in her arms, holding on tightly, and running her fingers through her hair, "Shh it's going to be okay. Whatever it is it will be okay."_

_Quinn wondered briefly if Rachel hated herself for coming when the blonde called. After everything Rachel was here, holding her while she cried, and she did it without any questions. Quinn pulled back to look in Rachel's eyes. They were questioning, and she knew Rachel was waiting for her to tell her why she was here. She didn't want to break this. She didn't want Rachel's arms to stop being around her, holding her. Her faces was inches from Quinn's and she could smell the flowers again. Her favorite smell. It almost made her smile._

_In barely a whisper Quinn finally spoke, "I'm pregnant."_

_She saw Rachel's heart break in her eyes. She had expected shame or disappointment or judgement, but all she saw in Rachel's eyes were pain. She wanted that to stop. She hated that. Hated seeing Rachel in pain, though she caused it so often. She deserved to hurt, not Rachel. She was crying harder now, and leaned her forehead against Rachel's._

"_Oh, baby. It will be okay. I'm here, I promise, everything will be fine." Rachel was placing light kisses across her face. She started at the top of her head, and then placed one on her temple. The next one was for her forehead, then the other side of her head. Rachel kissed the bridge of her nose, and then the tip of it. She kissed both of her cheeks, and when Quinn's eyes fluttered closed, she kissed her eyelids gently. Her lips hovered over Quinn's for a split second before the blonde moved herself to Rachel's lips. They pressed together gently but firmly, and when she felt Rachel start to pull away, her hands reached up and held her there. She didn't want to lose this moment, Rachel's lips on hers because she knew it wouldn't last, couldn't last. The brunette started moving her lips across Quinn's __and she was actually sure she was going to die, because it was so perfect and Rachel was perfect, and when they finally stopped to breathe, Quinn's forehead once again met Rachel's and with her hands still cupped firmly on Rachel's cheeks, she cried harder than she ever had before, right there on her bathroom floor with the girl she loved, and had always loved holding tightly onto her._

* * *

><p>"Wow."<p>

"Yeah."

Quinn had started crying somewhere during her retelling of finding out she was pregnant, and Nicole sat and listened, without comment surprisingly until Quinn had finished. Now she was moving on the couch and holding her friend, trying to comfort her.

"Why did you never tell me any of this Q? I mean you've told me about Lucy, and Rachel seems to have been the biggest part of her life. Same with Beth, you told me so much about that but never anything about Rachel."

"How could I Nic? How could I tell you I loved her, and I left her? I didn't just leave her once, I left her twice! I was and am a coward, and Rachel- She deserves better than me. I'm only going to hurt her, clearly. The past should be enough evidence."

"Quinn, you can't know that. Okay, have you ever admitted, out loud, that you're in love with Rachel?"

"No."

"Wrong. You did it just now without even thinking. That girl you just told me about, the one afraid of going to Hell, who was afraid to love someone who is also a girl, could never have done that. You've hurt Rachel before, but maybe this is God's way of giving you a chance to make up for all of that, and being the strong, brave, and loving person, that Rachel seems to know you are."

"I'm not though Nic," Quinn whispered. "I'm just this-this scared little girl still who can't even be in love with someone without hurting them constantly. I love her Nic, I do. I love her so much it hurts, but how do I tell her that? I also can't even begin to believe that she could love me back after all of this. Not really."

"I've only met her once, but she seems pretty forgiving. You were the only person she wanted to talk to at that party, and Evan told me she's been turning him down for two years, and pretty much every other person that came into her life. Does that sound like someone who isn't waiting for the love of their life to come back?"

Quinn hated more than anything when Nicole was right. She wanted to argue with her, but she couldn't. She wanted Rachel so badly, and she finally had a chance. She couldn't ruin this one. She needed to make sure that she didn't lose her again, because that she was sure would kill her.

"Thank you Nicole. Really. I-I'm going to work on it. Really, I am." Quinn said, smiling at her friend.

"No problem. You know I love you and all of your crazy." Nicole winked at her playfully, and Quinn rolled her eyes and smacked her lightly on the arm.

"Yeah, yeah, I might love you a little too." Quinn said as she stood up to go to her room. She needed a long hot shower after all of this.

As she was walking out of the room she heard Nicole shout, "Wait, you _might_?"

When she walked back in her room and shut the door, she looked at her phone and saw she had a few messages, the first one from Kurt.

**I would like to apologize for any texts that you might get tonight, we tried to take her phone. You'll soon learn that Rachel Berry, alcohol, and cell phones are not a good mix.**

The second message beneath it had been sent immediately after the first, and was also from Kurt.

**On second thought maybe it will be a great mix for you ;)**

What the Hell did that mean? She clicked on to see the next unread message, and gulped when she saw it was from Rachel.

**Hiiii baby. I miss you agian. :(**

So this is what Kurt had meant. Rachel only ever called her baby when she was drunk, or when Quinn was crying. This was going to be an interesting night for quickly texted back, knowing how impatient Rachel got.

**I've missed you too. What are you up to?**

The response was almost instant.

**Kurt and Blaine thought I was sad so they brought me out drinking. There was a blonde girl here hitting on me but she wasn't even half as pretty as you are.**

Quinn felt jealousy rise through her at the thought of anyone even coming near Rachel.

**Well I guess I'll just have to come with you next time so you don't have to worry about things like that.**

**Oh really? How do you proposee youll be doing that**

**I guess you'll have to wait and find out Rach ;)**

**Quinn. You cant wink at me right now. I'm in public.**

Quinn laughed out loud at that, and then sent off a quick text telling Rachel she was getting in the shower, and would be back in a few minutes. When she came back in, wrapped in her towel, she sat on her bed and picked up the phone. The reply from Rachel was there now, and she almost dropped the phone when she read it.

**So you're going to be naked and wet thinking about me then ;)**

**omg Rach.**

**That isnt an answer Quinn**

So Rachel wanted to play this game with her did she? Okay, she'd go along with it. Quinn Fabray does not back down from a challenge.

**I always get wet thinking about you Rachel**

**Quinnnnn stop thatttt**

**You started it**

**No I didnt you did baby. You were talking about being naked. I cant help what happens in my brain when you say things like that**

**Oh yeah? What kind of things?**

She knew she was baiting her, and Rachel was like her. Not one to back down, but the next message sent heat straight down her body.

**Oh not much. My tongue running down your abs, my hands gripping your thighs, and then my fingers slipping inside of you**

**Oh my God Rachel.**

**Yes baby? :)**

She knew that Rachel would win this. She was better at these things, so she decided to let this one go, and let the brunette have her way. In the back of her mind she knew they shouldn't be doing this before their talk, but she needed Rachel too much, had missed too much, and would take what she could get.

**Tell me everything.**

**Why don't I show you?**

That's when she heard the knocking on the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- Okay, so this is definitely the shortest chapter so far, but something tells me you'll all enjoy this one very much ;)**

**Thank you for all your reviews on the last chapter, I'm glad everyone liked it! I liked writing their separate memories of each other, and I hope you all enjoy this one just as much!**

Chapter Ten

Quinn heard the knocking and reacted immediately. There was no way that Rachel was standing outside her bedroom door at this moment. She was in New York and drunk at some bar and Quinn was here and clearly needed to go to the hospital to get checked for whatever was causing these auditory hallucinations.

Sure enough though, when she opened her door, Rachel Berry was standing in all her five foot two glory. She looked, well, she looked really fucking hot. That wasn't anything new to Quinn, she always thought Rachel looked hot, she could never deny it, even at times when she wanted to the most.

Rachel was wearing a very tight, long sleeved V-Neck sweater that hugged her curves perfectly, and showed off enough of her chest that Quinn was momentarily distracted from anything else. She was wearing a dark pair of skinny jeans that Quinn knew were showing off her already perfect ass. Her mouth started to water as she took in the most beautiful person she knew she would ever see in her life time.

It only took a few more seconds for her it to dawn on her that she was only wearing a towel, and when she finally looked up at Rachel's face, she saw that Rachel was looking at her like she was ready to eat her.

"_God, if only" _she thought.

Rachel's eyes were nearly black, and filled with lust. Quinn couldn't resist her even if she wanted to, and yanked her into the bedroom by her wrist, crashing her into her body and immediately pressing her lips to Rachel's soft and full lips.

Yeah something told her they weren't going to do that talking thing that Rachel had been mentioning. They had talked throughout the week, Rachel had texted Quinn as soon as they were back on their way to New Haven. They were relearning everything about each other, and catching up on two years of missing out on the other. They had been skyping whenever they could, though it was less often than talking on the phone or texting throughout the entire day. Quinn had nearly forgotten how much she missed Rachel and all of her adorable ways. How passionate she was, and how much she loved singing, and Quinn loved hearing Rachel talk about school and her friends. She was the most amazing person, and Quinn would be damned if she ever went any elongated amount of time without her again.

Their relationship had come up and they both had decided that they wanted to discuss it person, over the phone or web cam didn't seem like the best way to do it, and they wouldn't be able to be there with each other physically so they knew it was best to have the long overdue conversation together, and in the same physical space. They agreed to go slow with it until they could meet up over the weekend.

Rachel was about three days early. Quinn was pretty sure they had also mutually agreed to keep the physical part of their relationship to a bare minimum until they had worked everything out, but Rachel's tongue fully disagreed with their decision and was working it's way into her mouth now and she couldn't remember why they would ever ever agree to something like that in the first place.

She kicked the door shut behind Rachel and now had her fully pressed up against the door, with her body fully pressed up against Rachel.

Once Quinn's mouth found it's way down Rachel's jaw, the brunette found her ability to speak again, "Mm, Quinn, I've missed you."

Quinn moved her lips down and and continued her assault on Rachel's neck. The brunette's skin tasted delicious and and she didn't think she would ever get enough of it. She was licking, and biting, and sucking every inch of bare skin she could get her mouth on.

"God I've missed you too. So much."

Quinn was not wasting any time at all this round. They were both fully aware why Rachel was here, and maybe it wasn't the best idea, and yes they should probably talk first, but when did they ever go with the best idea in their entire lives together? There were so many years of build up between them. There were so many words that needed to be said, and never had been. Quinn knew that somewhere in her lust addled brain, but right now she was just going to have to settle for _showing _Rachel all those feelings that she has always had for her. No matter what that meant, at least they would always have this moment right now to look back on.

She pulled back from Rachel long enough to rip her sweater off of her, and it really started to settle in that they would actually go beyond this point in their night. The few times this has happened Quinn has gotten Rachel's shirt off and they were stopped by fear or drunkenness. Rachel's sweater was now long gone, and very soon the rest of her clothes would be too. Quinn was already completely naked.

She stopped for a moment, and looked into Rachel's eyes. She saw her own lust mirrored back at her in those beautiful eyes that she loved so much.

She lowered herself down to Rachel's chest and started kissing her all over. She dragged her tongue across her collarbone, eliciting a moan out of the smaller girl. Rachel's hands were already tangled in her own hair, and left to thread through Quinn's. When she tugged on Quinn's hair, she bit down on Rachel's collarbone, and pressed her naked hips into Rachel's jean covered ones. She moved her head down even further, and immediately took Rachel's right nipple into her mouth, and started swirling her tongue around it. The moan this elicited reverberated through Quinn's entire body and sent heat straight down. She wanted to hear that every single day for the rest of her life, and when she bit down lightly she thought she was going to come then and there just from the sound of Rachel's voice. The singer was writhing beneath her touch, and Quinn was in heaven. Absolute heaven.

She sunk down onto her knees and started placing hot, open mouthed kisses down Rachel's abs and her stomach. Rachel's fingers were still tangled in her hair, and every time Quinn would move she would scratch blunt nails along her scalp.

"God you are so beautiful," she breathed against Rachel's stomach as she started to unbutton her jeans. She wanted Rachel as naked as she was. Her towel had long since fallen to the ground and was now pooled around her knees.

She stood up, pulling Rachel into a kiss once again, pushing her toward her bed. Once the back of her knees hit the bed, their kiss broke, and Quinn immediately went back to completely undressing Rachel. Her jeans were quickly removed with just a little difficulty, and then her underwear. They were both naked now, and staring at the other. Quinn was absorbing the most perfect sight she had ever seen in her life. She never wanted to forget this. The very first time she ever saw Rachel Berry naked. In her bed. She was going to have sex with Rachel Berry.

College was great.

When her eyes finally trailed away from Rachel's perfect body, and met her eyes, Rachel smirked at her. She crooked her finger, indicating for Quinn to come to her, and she obliged quickly. She hovered over the brunette and brought their mouths within millimeters of each other.

"We're finally going to do this Quinn," Rachel breathed against her mouth.

"I have wanted you for so long Rachel. I-" Quinn didn't get to finish the thought, as Rachel's full lips took hold of her own in a powerful kiss. The blonde hadn't thought that Rachel most likely had feelings she wanted to convey tonight as well. This was about them both, and everything they had been through to get here. It was finally happening.

Quinn started moving down to Rachel's neck again, eager for more. Her hands never stayed idle, sliding up Rachel's thighs, then her stomach. Quinn felt the muscles twitch and smirked against Rachel's neck. She couldn't help the pride that seeped out of her from what she was doing to the brunette. How she was making her feel. It was amazing, and when she cupped her breasts, and Rachel arched into her hands with a loud moan, she had to keep reminding herself that everything just kept getting better. Her hands never left Rachel's breasts, still pinching her nipples, rolling them, pulling, and toying. Her head was still moving south though, trailing a direct path of hot kisses down Rachel's sternum, then her stomach, and finally, right when Rachel thought Quinn was where she needed her most, the blonde turned her head and bit down hard on her thigh. Rachel practically screamed and it was music to Quinn's ears. Her hands finally moved down as well, and she wrapped her arms around Rachel's legs.

She was moving back and forth, sucking on the skin of Rachel's thighs, getting closer and closer but never quite close enough.

"Quinn, please... I need you. Please. Now." Rachel was panting, and hearing her beg Quinn just made the blonde even wetter.

She decided that she had been waiting it out long enough. She finally moved to Rachel's center and her mouth started watering. She wanted to take her time, but there was no way, and with the first touch of her tongue she was addicted.

She ran her tongue along the length of Rachel's slit, and moaned at the taste. If she thought that Rachel's skin tasted amazing, she could never have believed how good Rachel _herself _tasted. It was amazing.

Her lips latched on to Rachel's clit and she lightly sucked, and had to tighten her grip around Rachel's legs when her hips bucked into Quinn's face.

"Quinn, oh God. Don't stop." Her hands were gripping Quinn's hair tightly, and it was honestly turning Quinn on even more.

She kept up her ministrations, sucking lightly on Rachel's clit for a little while, before just swirling her tongue around it. She would change everything up, seeing what made Rachel moan in different ways.

After quite a bit of time, Rachel's fingers tugged in her hair, and when Quinn looked up at her, never taking her tongue or mouth away, Rachel looked down at her and breathed out, "Fingers."

Quinn was never one to be hesitant, and that certainly wasn't the case now.

She brought her hand up, and slowly slid her middle finger inside the tiny brunette. Rachel groaned loudly and arched into her touch. Her pace started slow, just getting used to the fact that she was inside of Rachel, she wanted to relish in this moment. She leaned her body up to Rachel's and their mouths met in a passionate kiss. Rachel was gripping onto her shoulders, and could barely keep pace with Quinn.

Quinn was pushing her hips into her hand, and when Rachel's hands tightened around her shoulders, she whispered against her mouth, "More."

Rachel was practically panting now, and Quinn sped up her hand, working her finger inside of the smaller girl, and pressing her hips into her hand for more leverage.

"No baby more, _more._"

Oh.

Quinn slipped a second finger inside of Rachel, and she groaned into her mouth. There was nothing better than this. She was so tight and warm, and wet, and Rachel would forever be the best anything in her life. The best person, friend, lover, everything. Rachel was it.

She had her forehead pressed into her shoulder, and Rachel was raking her short nails down Quinn's back, hard. Her hands gripped Quinn's ass and pressed them further together. Quinn's hand was slamming into Rachel now, her palm hitting her clit with every thrust.

Quinn was setting a fast pace, and twisting and scissoring her fingers inside of Rachel. Everything was happening fast, and as soon as she felt Rachel's walls start to tighten around her fingers she curled them up and hit Rachel's spot repeatedly.

Rachel was nearly incoherent. She was moaning loudly, Quinn wasn't surprised, Rachel was loud normally and in bed wasn't any different.

"Quinn, oh my god, Quinn I-I'm close, so-" before she could finish her sentence Rachel was arching into her hand, and her mouth was falling open in a silent scream, making a perfect O shape.

Quinn slowed her pace, but didn't remove her fingers, letting Rachel ride out her orgasm. When she finally stopped quivering in aftershocks, Quinn gently removed her fingers, and put them in her mouth, sucking on them lightly.

Rachel moaned at the sight and before she knew it, Quinn was being flipped onto her back, and Rachel was above her with an evil grin.

"My turn."


End file.
